Problems with the cousin affecting behaviors.

Sally - posted on 07/05/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter spends a lot of time with her cousin that is very out of control - screams, rude to adults, attention seeking behaviors, and is destructive.. Now, I find my daughter acting like her and I am getting onto her after every visit and letting her know that she can not act like that. If I address this with my sister-in-law it could be very damaging so I am just looking for any advice from you all.

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Angela - posted on 07/05/2010

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If you talk to her about what is acceptable behaviour without mentioning her cousin, she's very likely to make the connection herself, although it's very hard for kids to resist getting excited by other kid's high energy levels. Sounds like you're already talking to your daughter about this, you could also try calmly talking with her on the way home from a visit saying "what did you think when your cousin did (enter naughty behaviour here)" and discuss specific cases with her, letting her come to the conclussion herself that the behaviour was inappropriate.

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Lisbeth - posted on 07/05/2010

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I would just keep reminding your daughter that just b/c her cousin acts that way does not make it ok and that she is still expected to behave. She is always going to come across bad influences in her life and she might as well learn how to handle it now and be an individual.

Angie - posted on 07/05/2010

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I think you're wise not to speak with your sister in law. All you can do is limit your daughter's exposure to her cousin, let her know before they are together what the consequences are of any rude behavior and when you are home, follow through. My sister's children are like this too, to the point that I've seen them stop the band at a wedding to do imitations. It wasn't cute to anyone but his parents and it was annoying to everyone else!

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