Cynthia - posted on 03/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have twin 12 year old boys. They seem to always get in trouble in school. Now they just got suspended. I am running out of ideas of punishment. One seems not to care. I tried all kinds of punishment and he continues to make it like a game. He doesn't care. All electronics are taken away and more chores are added but it still doesn't seem to be working.


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Deidre - posted on 03/28/2012




I hate to always assume it is normal just because of the age bracket. So, I will give that a rest so I can explore other options. My eldest of 3 boys is almost 13. For us it was my not giving him his one on one. My younger two are 6 and 4 so I spend the majority of my time with them. For whatever reason, I even make them their food while expecting my eldest to fend for himself... It really didn't occur to me that he may be acting out because he is desperate for my attention. Even if it's negative attention, it seems to not matter to him. Anyway, I reluctantly found this out the hard way and now we don't get into so many battles.

My son, Christian is still acting out REALLY bad in school. I have made the decision to take him out of his "Social Environment" and keep him home with me. He is OFF THE HOOK at school and I feel it is my duty to take control of this situation. I've enrolled him in an online public school program called K12. We start that in August. He is not very thrilled with the concept of me cutting him off socially. He will still have the kids in the neighborhood, he will just not have the opportunity to RUIN everybody else's time for education. Christian has proven he does a whole lot better when he is being taught one on one. While in school if he doesn't comprehend something he is not able to get that one on one because the teachers have too many other students they are working with.

Someone once said it pays when you figure out what your child's "Currency" is. My son's currency is his "Friends". He CARES when I take them away. When I was a tween I talked on the phone constantly. My mother punished me by making me stay in the house... BUT she didn't figure out the REAL punishment would have been to take the PHONE AWAY!! LOL

At this age kids hardly care about anything, but if you can figure out what it is they do care about, you will be ahead of the game. Maybe since your kids are TWINS they have similar trials dealing with needing your undivided attention?? Do you get to have one on one with them without each other? I really hope it is that simple. I was so frustrated when this came to light for me. Only because I was so angry that the last thing I wanted was to reward his bad behavior with some mommy and me time!! But, I had to bite the bullet and it is still working. I have to remind myself often, though... :)

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