Really need some advice from supporting mamas

B_sharp - posted on 10/10/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm reaching out for advice, I'm spinning in circles in life right now and I thought maybe some moms may have been through the same confusion.

I met this guy that I quickly fell for. I never knew what love actually felt like until our relationship. In the beginning of our relationship he was acting pretty fishy. He lived out of state and only could come visit once a month. 4 months into it I found out he was cheating with a family friend.... I left him but took him back months later. He did everything he could to make it right, and I mean everything. He was so loyal to me but I couldn't let go of my insecurities. I held it against him and couldn't let the anger go but I stayed for another 8 months. I knew that I have never loved someone as much as him but I also knew that I couldn't get over the insecurities in our relationship. Another guy that I've known for quite sometime came in and really swept me off my feet. I was talking to him behind my boyfriends back and eventually left him boyfriend for him. It's been 4 months and I'm miserable. He is a very emotional guy and very affectionate which is complete opposite of myself. He is also very controlling and doesn't let me talk to certain people and goes through my phone. I have never cheated on anyone except this last relationship. I know, I handled everything wrong and I'm owning that. But I am trapped in a relationship with a man who is in love with me and wants to get married in no time at all with more kids to follow. The problem is I don't feel the same way. And I have a daughter who is 4 and she just became involved in this relationship. The only thing I can think about is I gave up my last relationship when I should have tried harder. My parents and entire family want me to marry this new man and they have since day one which I think is why it made it so easy to leave my other relationship. Now I feel like I'm only here for other people's happiness and want the life I had back. I don't know what to do, or how to handle it. Being a mom isn't easy when you get in a low point in life like this. Any suggestions of moms who have been in this type of situation? Really needing mom advice. I feel like if I take my ex back my parents and family will shun me. I also know pulling my daughter into this confusion isn't healthy but I know losing what I had made me see what I want.


Michelle - posted on 10/10/2016




YOU are the one that chooses what you want in life.
If you aren't happy then you need to break up. I'm not saying to go back to your ex either because you couldn't get past the cheating. I understand that as I was cheated on by my ex.
I suggest that you actually be on your own for a while. Concentrate on you and your daughter. You need to find out what you want and the best way to do that is to not date and reflect on what type of person will be the best for you.
When I did that my amazing husband came into my life. He is the best person for me and 8 years later I am more in love with him now than the day we got married.

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