Recent Break-Up Please Help

Jennifer - posted on 05/16/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello I am new to forums and blogs but I am searching for some delicate advice:

Here is a quick summary of my situation- D and I have been together on and off for 3 years. We started off as just friends then became a little more. We totally broke up in November of that year (I found out that he was dating another girl 2 days later) we meet up in January with a mutual group of friends and had a one night stand. Rocky pregnancy due to unknown circumstances and how we were going to handle co-parenting (not together for the entire pregnancy) baby was born in October 2011. In February 2012 we decided to move in together and try a relationship- August we decide to get married Oct 2013. Strains on our relationship: his ex cheated on him and he was married, he is a bad communicator, he had quite a bit of debt- I suggested bankruptcy, his spending habits didn’t coordinate with paying bills which was a BIG point of contention . I have a quick temper, but I felt as if he was intentionally triggering it by not paying bills or helping with our child. This was my first real long term relationship with anyone (I am 32 but very selective) I tried seeing a therapist and we went to a communication class. We had our issues but in my mind very fixable. Three wks ago I got very ill- he was worried sick! I was off on medical for 1wk due to illness- all of sudden his demeanor changed and he was very cold…by Friday I had enough we had a huge fight (unfortunately drinking was involved) He left the house and I went to my mom’s (she was watching our child) in the morning I came back to our condo and packed our clothes. This was not the first time I had threatened to leave (never leaving-when I would he never came after us). He put our things in the car. Later he said that he couldn’t do it anymore- there were to many fights. I pleaded with him to just try and pay his bills on time and be a partner to me. He was set with his decision. After two weeks of asking for answers and questioning him why, crying and running through the scenarios via text, fb, calls in person… I finally stopped. It’s been very hard but I have taken the “no contact rule” to heart and have very little contact (purely for our child) with him. I booked a cruise with my best friend, cut my hair, dropped a little weight etc. How can I make this easier…it’s still very painful- I am trying to move on, it’s almost been a month. I think about him often and I know I shouldn’t… but I wonder if there is any hope to reconcile? Please advise


~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/16/2013




There is always hope for the future. I would not reconcile though. It sounds like the relationship was very forced, and has not been healthy. I mean, give yourself some time to be on your own. It has only been a month. Be kind to you and your daughter. Heal. Grow. Keep going to therapy to assist in the whole healing process. Don't force a relationship that was never really there in the first place.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms