GULHAN - posted on 07/22/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hi all ,

I have two boys. One is 26 months old and another one is 2 month old. My sister constantly tells me that I need to separate certain things soon such as showering , washing my son, etc... I am coming from a family of girls and I have no idea what to do about privacy issues and the difference in body parts and all those types of uncovered sex or gender topics. I did some research online but I could not find any recommendations for a healthy way of teaching the importance of seperation of sexes or how to adress this ? Please please give me some recommendations , book names, or documentary names that I can educate myself with. T

Thank you so much


Dove - posted on 07/23/2015




Oh... as for teaching them. Yes, they go through a curious phase because mom (or sister) looks different. You answer their questions simply and honestly. You teach them that NO ONE has the right to touch their private parts except their parents and the doctor and that is ONLY when they need help or they are injured or the doctor is checking development (our ped even 'asks' the newborn babies before he checks their diaper area... one of the reasons he is awesome). You also teach them that they are not allowed to touch anyone's private areas except their own.

It happens over time and as long as you are consistent and don't make too big of a deal out of it... they learn and they'll be fine.

Dove - posted on 07/23/2015




In some families nudity is a big deal... even if they are all the same gender. In other families nudity is a non issue even w/ a mix of the genders.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong w/ a parent helping a child of any age or gender if that child needs help. Period. My son is 7 and since he has long hair... I still wash it for him twice a week. I don't parade around him naked (but I've never done that around anybody), but he does still see me naked if he's in the bathroom before, during, or after my shower.... no big deal.

If a child/parent WANTS privacy and that isn't respected... there's a problem. Otherwise... no problem as you are FAMILY.

I hope that helps reassure you some.

Jodi - posted on 07/23/2015




There is absolutely nothing wrong with you continuing to do whatever it is you are doing as long as you are comfortable doing it. Your sons will start to indicate when they need privacy, and you will know when the time comes when YOU need privacy from them. There is not set "limit" and there is no harm done if you just follow your own instincts on this. Like Shawnn, my son was probably about 6 or 7 when I stopped being nude around him, and he was probably about 8 or 9 when he started wanting privacy in the bathroom. He has seen his younger sister naked WELL beyond this age, and it was probably only a couple of years ago when he was 15 that she started to demand HER privacy. It really has done him absolutely no harm, and neither should it. He has been taught that our bodies are not something we should be ashamed of, that girls and boys are different and that is okay, that we should respect our own bodies and those of others.

There is no book of repute out there that will tell you what the age limit is on this, because, quite frankly, every child and every family is different.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2015




Teach them to have a healthy respect for their bodies, and those of others. Teach them age appropriate privacy, which you'll know when that time comes...they'll start being curious about things that aren't necessarily age appropriate for them to know.
I raised 2 boys. I stopped being nude around them when the eldest was around 6. Family showers stopped at about the same age, but the boys bathed together for another couple of years.
What it boils down to is this: Your sister is not raising your family. You are, and you will know when certain things need to stop happening. For right now, you are just fine.


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