Relationship issues and confussed

Mom - posted on 06/11/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )




I have a boyfriend that i have been dating for almost 4 yrs now. He has a child from a previous realationship that he doesnt see at all i think his kid is 10 yrs old and the laat time he saw the child was 2 yrs old. But i have 2 kids around that age that he just doesnt seem to want to bond with at all. He wants to play the dad role but only the discpline part. He doesnt go to sports games when the kids have them and then he wonders why the kids are a certain way toward him. But a year ago he talked about wanting to adopt a child, but we talked about it and it waant something we were gonna be abled to do. But i want another kid and he said he doesnt want any kids with me. Hes always throwing in my face and saying im a bad parent cause i give in to much and im not strict. I cant be as strict as him because his grounding rules are crazy 2 weeks no tv and games if a child gets mad and slams the door. Idk that just seems a lil to much kids can get mad its normal as long as hes not breaking or punching holes in the walls whats wrong with slamming the door. Idk i could go on and on .. But right now he says he dont want no kids i feel like ive wasted my time. He doesnt like to do anything with me when my kids are involved. He ways says asks your mom to watch them so we can go here or there idk i think i know what i have to do but its easier said then done... I keep thinking if we were to have a chikd together he wpukd be more willing to want to do kid related things with all the kids. Am i just over thinking it and its just time to end it..ugh i feel stressed out depressed and so concussed dont know when else to do...this is a very short version i just summed it up a lil..any advice is greatly appreciated


Nadine - posted on 06/13/2016




I have never understood why women want to breed with men who have already proven that they are not going to go through with the responsibility of being a father. You already know he is a deadbeat. Why would you welcome him into your children's lives? Why the hell would you want a child by him when he already has a child he has abandoned? When I was single the one thing that had me headed away from a guy was them being a father and (a) not paying child support and/or (B) not being involved in their child's life. That level of irresponsibility and immaturity never changes.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/12/2016




Wow....he sounds like a keeper..... want a kid with a man that already abandoned a child of his? You want him to be the father of a new kid with you so ca fix your relationship and hopefully he magically becomes a good daddy?

There must be some reason you are with this man, but nothing you have said makes him appealing on any level. Sounds like a deadbeat dad that won't change no matter how you swing it.

Jodi - posted on 06/11/2016




So he has a kid that you "think" is 10, who you have never met and he hasn't stepped up for since the child was 2.....and yet you somehow think this guy is going to bond with your kids? You somehow thought this man would be a good one to breed with? You aren't seeing the red flags here? Honey, this man is NOT a keeper. He never was.


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Michelle - posted on 06/12/2016




I agree with Dove, I would have left him 4 years ago.
Why have you stayed for so long? Surely you would have figured this out in at least 6 months, even less.
Leave him now and find someone who deserves your love. Someone who treats your children like their own (not just discipline).

ETA: A child won't fix a strained relationship. If you have a child with him, you will soon be posting that he doesn't help out at all. He has said he doesn't want a child with you anyway, why would you even be thinking of having one?

Dove - posted on 06/11/2016




Should have left the loser 4 years ago. He is not father material and your kids deserve better.... and so do you.

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