Separated and Need help dealing with ex having girlfriend

SJ - posted on 03/23/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband and I have been separated for 2 1/2 months. We both are in education so since the beginning of school year I suspected he was seeing someone. During Christmas vacation I found out it was his coworker who he spends all day with on duties. I just found out that he had been taking her with him on weekend events he had with his friends. This hurt terribly because I had the hopes of us getting back together. We have two kids, ages 5 and 10 who calls every other day and picks up Wednesdays and Saturdays for 2 hours. He had told me he had no feelings for me at all and wanted to remain friends for our kids. We had been married 12 years and I still love him and hate what he's doing to our kids. Why do men behave this way? Why don't they realize the grass is not greener on the other side, that its artificial turf?


Ev - posted on 03/23/2014




First, you can not force another human to be in a relationship they do not want. I learned that the hard and fast way when my ex left me 12 years ago. We have divorced 12 as well.
Second, it is hard to go through after finding out he has cheated on you. I think its time to file for divorce, custody, visitation, and child support. He seems to have lost total interest in your kids as well if he only takes them for 2 hours max on WED and SAT.
Third, its not all men that are this way. There women that are that way too but it seems more common to see this behavior in men. That woman is going to find that once he is divorced from you he might just do the same thing with her he did with you.
My advice to you is to concentrate on the kids rather than him and his bad manners concerning you and the kids. File for the divorce and custody. Find proof he is cheating on you and then pull that into court as mean as it sounds. He has committed adultry. Find another avenue to work into your life such as a hobby, tutoring kids, volunteer work where you can take your kids with you so they can do so too, find something anything to get your mind off him.

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