separated from my son and miserable about it!

Katie - posted on 04/29/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




So, here's the situation...

I am currently pregnant with my second child (27 and a half weeks now) and I have a 17 month old son. When I was about 3 months pregnant I moved to a very rural area for my husbands job, and although there is a hospital near by it cannot deal with babies born before 35 weeks. From the very beginning of this pregnancy we have been dealing with complications. First they thought it was ectopic, my hormone levels weren't high enough and they told me to prepare to lose the baby. I was then incredibly sick for three months while my husband was living in our new home and working (I had to stay behind to get things prepared to move.) Once My son and I made the move and we were finally able to be a family again things went well for a little while. Then when I was 22 weeks I went into premature labour. Being so far from a good hospital and not having yet made it to the point where my baby would be viable in this province, I was again told that I would lose my baby, After about 6 hours of regular contractions with no intervention aside from being hydrated by IV the pain eased off and the contractions subsided. After a few days in the hospital I was released on strict bedrest, and told that I had an irritable uterus and a soft and incompetent cervix. My doctor told me that I only had a 50% chance of making it through the week. I made it and at 25 weeks my husband and I flew down to the nearest city with a high level NICU (15 hour drive away.) I was seen at a new hospital by new doctors and told me that they don't think that I have an incompetent cervix, but I do measure a month further along than I am due to quite a bit of extra fluid. So because I am in this odd grey area between being high risk enough to admit and too high risk to send all the way home across the province I am stuck here until a) they deal with the fluid and decide that I am safe to go home or b) I have the baby,

Anyways, while I am down here I am unable to take care of my toddler as I can't bend or lift and I am really not supposed to move around too much. He had to return home with my husband. He is being taken care of by a wonderful group of ladies that have been amazing and helped us out so much, but I still spent a majority of my time thinking about him and crying. He is my little baby and previous to this situation he had never been away from me for more than a few hours. He was still being nursed until I went into labour and was told by the doctors that I had to wean him. I miss him so much that it is a physical pain, My husband and son skype with me everyday, but I am so afraid that he will forget who I am. He is just learning to talk and I am missing it and it kills me.
Are there any other moms out there that can relate? I would love to hear some positive stories about similar situations to get me through this terrible, stressful time.

Don't get me wrong I am overjoyed that I have been able to stay pregnant and I know that it is best to stay here to ensure the safety of my new baby, but it's soooooo hard.


Tina - posted on 04/30/2011




I understand you're going through a tough time. But there is no way he'll forget who his mum is. I know it's tough at the moment but in time things will be better and you'll be back with your son and have twice the joy. I haven't been in your position myself but I know others who have gone through similar situations. The best thing you can do is what you're doing. Technology is a blessing in someways you can still have face time with you're son. You also need to relax as much as you can for your unborn bundle. Just think in time it'll all be worth it. You'll have two beautiful children and your son will have a little sibling to play with.

Melanie - posted on 04/30/2011




I have a friend who is in the army. She got pregnant while she in the army and has remained. She has gone to Iraq atleast twice. He is 4 now. He has spent a good portion of his life not with his mom, but she does what she can to keep contact. When they are together you can tell who mom is. She talks to him as often as is practical for her situation.

You are only away for a few months. Keep talking to your boy. Have a rituals with him; ie bed time stories/prayers, nap time song before he lays down...whatever you can think of that is practical for you and his other care givers...ask for pictured from your husband and the wonderful ladies about his day, and your husband's day also...This will help you be more connected...try to take pics of you and your doctors, nurses or anything that will help him not feel scared about mommy being gone...He's still little so he might not understand anyways, but this is still therapeutic for you also....DON'T forget that most of your inner turmoil is because of pregnancy hormones. Realizing this will help you cope a little.

I hope this helps a little. Good Luck to all 4 of yall!

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