Should I call CPS for what I have been told by my kids?

Anna - posted on 09/27/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )




I am not a mom. I am a college student and the Nanny of 3 boys. We are in the state of California. I am only with them every other week because their parents are separated. I work for their dad.

I have never liked the dad. My natural instincts told me after my interview that he wasnt a great person, but I still took the nanny job. its only after school to 5:30-6:30, so not much time, but I have learned enough to be concerned.

The boys have all told me that the dad hits them. At first I disregard it as exaggeration on their parts considering the fact they thought it was normal. Recently though, they have decided they dont need to listen to me, because they know I would NEVER hit them, and I do my best never to raise my voice. I dont cuss, and I dont lie to them. They have told me that their dad hurts them, not just hits.

I wouldn't have taken this extremely seriously, but the two eldest told me this separately. They were mad at me because they were in a time out, but I dont see why lying would help them. When their father came home that afternoon, I had to explain how disrespectful they had been that day to deserve "time-out"s repeatedly. He got extremely angry, yelled, and told the boys:

"I Love you guys, but I am not going to deal with this F***ing s**t when I come home. If you guys keep all this crap up, I will just let the court send you guy with your mom, with all her restrictions and boyfriends, and i'll go to Italy and bang all the chicks I want. I am not going to put up all this s**t from you p**ks."

I know that this would have been worst if I hadnt been there, he knows I am super conservative. I dont know what I should be. Its a nasty recent divorce, and I am not sure if this is just his way of coping and the kids are really safe and just acting out. I do not want to tear apart a fragile family. I know he loves his kids, but I dont know if he is abusive.

Advice please, and for those to pray, prayer would be wonderful.


JuLeah - posted on 09/27/2011




That is abusive. This family is already torn apart. Maybe Mom left for a reason.

I'l call with my concerns. If the boys gave you details about how they were hit or where or with what, I'd report that too

Can you contact Mom? Would she be of help?

Understand, you will lose your job for this; not something the boss forgives :) But you might be saving kids a lot of pain

[deleted account]

Someone should be called just based off of what you heard HIM say. Kids don't need to hear that kind of crap and this family needs help.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/28/2011




I would have no issues calling the authorities for investigation. Maybe call the mother and discuss this with her and find out if she even knows about this.

Anna - posted on 09/27/2011




My job is not important to me. I only care that these boy are safe. I will see how tomorrow goes, talk to them a little, and then if I think I have gotten enough evidence, I will call the mom, and tell her that if she doesnt removed them from the home, I will call CPS with what I know. Thank you ladies!


View replies by

Stifler's - posted on 09/28/2011




He sounds very frustrated and like he doesn't know how to discipline them without verbal and physical violence. I don't think it sounds like he is intentionally abusive from your post. But maybe he does need some help to be a better parent.

Christy - posted on 09/28/2011




What are their ages? This also makes a difference in what they tell you.

However based on what you observed from the dad, maybe talk to him and tell him you know he is stressed out and what he thinks he can do to be less stressed. Yeah, I know this isn't your place but in someway I think God put you in these kids' lives for a reason, even if it's an hour at a time. I wouldn't call CPS just yet. And don't mention to Dad you were even thinking about calling them. Some people don't know how to handle their anger, not that this makes it OK to verbally abuse his kids, though.

If you end up calling CPS, make sure you no longer work for this man. You never know, if he's a ticking time bomb or what, you don't want him to take anything out on YOU. Good luck. Prayers your way!

Connie - posted on 09/27/2011




make sure you have proof. if the boys were in trouble when they "confided" in you it may have been an act to get pity and be released from punishment. if their dad hurt them you would see some physical proof. no, he should not yell at them like that but calling CPS will tear whatever is left of the family apart...divorce is hard but it eases with time. unless you can learn the whole story and you know without a doubt that you are doing what is right...just be careful. will keep all of you in my prayers. good luck and God bless.

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