Should I file for sole custody if his father isn't on the birth certi

Camille - posted on 10/10/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I had my son in February 2015 his father was in jail and is not on his brith certificate. When his father came home from jail 6 months after my sons brith I let him come and stay with us, he is drinking and occasionally doing drugs as well as cheating on me. He said he was going to change but he is not he right back to his old habits I want to keep my son away from that kind of behavior and I want him to have a good child hood but I know when I ask his father to leave that he is still going to want to see and be able to spend time with his son and I want to make sure that my son is not going to get hurt by his fathers drinking and occasional drug use. His father doesn't think twice about drinking and driving. Should I file for sole custody? Or would that automatically give him joint custody until I can prove that he should not have custody of my son?


Dove - posted on 10/10/2015




Get solid proof of his harmful behaviors. Once you have some solid, documented evidence of his dangerous behaviors (like drinking and driving)... file for custody and try to push for supervised visitations. You want to be able to show that you WANT your child to have a relationship w/ his father... you just want your son to be able to be safe in that relationship.

You might not be granted the supervised visitations... but it's worth trying for.

Michelle - posted on 10/10/2015




Sorry but Jodi is right. You chose to have a baby with this man and you are now bound together forever! You don't have a right to deny your child a relationship with his Father.
You need to go to court and get custody, visitation and child support sorted out ASAP.
I will say that custody and visitation are different. Get yourself a lawyer and get to court.

Jodi - posted on 10/10/2015




You don't get to make the call as to whether his father can be in his life or not. That's up to the courts to decide. At this point, you are in a position where (1) if you decide not to allow his father in his life, he could take you to court and claim parental alienation by you (and mothers have lost custody as a result of this) or (2) if you decide to allow him to have time with the child he could choose not to give the child back and if he can prove paternity, there is very little you could do about it.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether you put him on the birth certificate on not, he still has rights as the biological parent and he can exercise them if he chooses to.

Right now, the best thing you could do is file for custody and visitation orders There is no guarantee that you will get sole custody if he decides to fight it. But it is likely he will at least get some level of visitation. If you have evidence of alcohol and drug use and you are concerned, you can provide the evidence and request supervised visitation.

But basically, you don't get to decide whether he is going to be in his child's life. If he wants to be in his child's life, then he is most likely to get some level of visitation.


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