should I hold my child back in first grade?

Kelly - posted on 03/26/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




My smart,wonderful out going daughter is readding slow.She is 7 and readding 20 words per minet {yes the school times them} I get good reports from her teachers on how is is the model student her grads are AT LEVEL but on the low side.She's in tital 1 readding program and is improving,but now that thay want the kids to read the test them self her grads are going down.She's doing well in math.Has anyone been held back? how will this effect her latter?She is tring so hard,I'm just not sure what to do.


[deleted account]

How long is her Title I intervention? It should be anywhere form 30-60 minutes of additional assistance daily in additiona to her regularly scheduled reading block in the classroom. See if she can receive more Title I time with the Reading Specialist. Also, see if the school's Title I funding can assist with tutoring. With all of teh educational budgetary constraints, it might not be availabe but never hurts to ask. Also, find out what are your daughter's weaknesses? Is it phonics? Comprehension? Recall/memory of what she read? Fluency? Vocabulary? Ask the Title I specialist for a comprehensive assessment of strengths & weaknesses. I suspect that at 1st grade i na Title I school, they may be using the DIEBLS system. Use the link to educate yourself on the componenets of early learning literacy. Then google some free resources to help hone in on your daughter's weaknesses. There are tons of free games to play when enhancing literacy. Also seek help fro mthe public library! Now, another thought when it comes to the tutoring: your local high school might have National Honor Society chapter, and these are students that need community service hours. It is very well possible to have a high school student that would be willing to tutor your daughter. Just be careful, because a high schooler is certainly not the same as a trained/certified Reading Interventionist. It's late i nthe school year, but also keep in mind that there may be an underlying reading disability. Something to be checked in the very beginning of 2nd grade. Good luck!

Karen - posted on 03/28/2011




My son is now in grade 4 and I WISH we had held him back earlier. He was pulled everyday for extra reading and we were told practice, practice, practice. He does really well in all of his other subjects (except math word problems). We are now about to get him evaluated for dyslexia. The school only does phonics and practices reading skills until grade 3, so repeating after that really doesn't help. Talk to the teacher, get an evaluation, get a tutor. Early intervention is key and I wish that someone would have told me that back in grade one, maybe we wouldn't have these problems now.


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FlunkingIsNoFun - posted on 08/06/2014




I can't speak for any of the parents, as you know your child better than anyone. But one thing I would caution, if your child has low self-esteem already, please think long and hard before you decide to hold your child back. I was held back in 1st grade, and it was a pretty devasting experience. Almost on par with loosing a parent. Just imagine that everyone at your job got a promotion except you. Then at the yearly company parties, they rub it in your face about how great it was or made fun of you because you didn't get promoted. Or maybe they simply kept asking why you didn't get promoted, and you had to come up with an answer that wouldn't further embarrass or erode what little self-esteem you had left, by further making light of your inadequacies when trying to answer them. Now take it one step further and pretend that happened to you for the next 12 years in a row. That's what being held back felt like during grades 1-12. Seeing all my friends move forward, while I stayed behind had a lasting affect on me. I always felt that I could never measure up. I never felt I was ever good enough, always lagging one grade back. I always felt I was forever one step behind them. I always felt I was never smart enough. I still struggle with self esteem and self confidence issues to this day.

I'm not saying all children will go through what I went through if they are held back, but just be careful and make sure your child has a healthy self-esteem before you do decide to hold them back. When councelors or teachers say "your child is only 5, they'll forget and get over it. They're too young to know what's going on." Do not believe them. I'm 40 years old. I knew and understood what being held back meant when I was 5, I'm still not 100% over it, and I remember it as if it happened yesterday.

Please, as a parent, if you take away anything from this post, do everything in your power to boost your childs self esteem at an early age. Because self-confidence is much harder to build when you're older. If I had a choice between raising a child to be over-confident and cocky vs one who had no self esteem, I would choose the former. A cocky child can always pick themselves up when they fall and with time, they will be humbled. A child who falls with no self esteem may not be able to pick themselves back up.
Promoting self-esteem, and self confidence in your child is the greatest gift you can ever give them as a parent. The gift of loving yourself. Please be very careful and talk to them before you do decide to hold them back.

Erica - posted on 03/27/2011




Talk with her teacher and principal. I dont know where you live but I know they are trying to pass a law in Indiana that if you do not pass the reading part of ISTEP in 3rd grade the state will make them repeat the grade (even if it is one point)....They can be helf back twice due to this. I do agree that younger is better than later!!!!

[deleted account]

IF you do decide to hold her back, take heart in the fact that it's better to do so when they are young. The social impact will be far less if you hold her back now, than if she needs to be held back in a higher grade. Schedule a conference with her teacher and get her honest professional opinion. And I do like Teresa's suggestion of trying tutoring.

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