should i stay for children's sake?????

Bella - posted on 11/26/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




i am contemplating on ending my 13yrs relationship with my partner.we don't seem to agree on anything,any simple conversation turns into argument. we both can't stand each other anymore. I have tried to stay and i tried evrything to fix it.we even went to marriagecounselling and seminars but were still the same. we have 3 kids aged 11,6 and 4. they are my life and they are the reason why up to now i am still with my partner. he is a very good father and it will break their heart if i leave their dad. i am not happy anymore and i give up that one day he will change. we don't have anything in common except the kids.he's 51 and i am 37. i can't even tell him when i have problem,he doesn't tell me either anything about his work. in short we don't really have a relationship except being a parent to our kids. we often argue in front of kids that's why i want to end this,i don't want my kids to grow up like him in terms of handling a relationship.should i go or stay for kid's sake. i am not even sure if i still love him


View replies by

Lacye - posted on 11/26/2012




My parents stayed together long after they should have split up. Now they can't even stand to be in the same room together. My dad and stepmother made up a BS excuse for me not to have my wedding at the family church because they knew my mother was going to be there. They wouldn't come to my college graduation for the same reason. You do not need to let it get that far. If you have the opportunity, leave. Staying for the children is no excuse for staying with a person that does not make you happy.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012




LOL, guess I should have read the other posts before I said the exact same first line as Michelle. Great minds I tell you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012




I think you have already answered your own question.

I would prefer to end a relationship with the father than teach my kids that a marriage is about fighting. He can still be a good father to his kids without being married to him. I always feel when people say "should I stay for the kids" it is usually the exact opposite of what is truly good for the kids.

Denikka - posted on 11/26/2012




Totally agree with Michelle.

Children would rather be from a broken home than living in one.

Children need to see their parents having a HEALTHY relationship. Sometimes to do that, they need to apart instead of together.

They know more about what's going on than you may realize. Even if you never fought in front of them, never showed them the negativity between you and your husband, they would still know there was something wrong. Even if they don't know they know, it's still there at a subconscious level and will still affect them.

You need to walk away from this. You can only fix yourself and do what you think is best/right. For you and for your kids.

Michelle - posted on 11/26/2012




You have already answered your own question.

My grandmother told me to NOT stay for the children. Her parents did and she said it was a very unhappy house to grow up in.

It's better that the children grow up with happy parents rather than fighting parents. If that's all they see then that's what they will grow up to believe that's what marriage is like.

I'm glad I left my first husband because I have met the most loving and wonderful man and my children can see that true happiness can happen.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms