Should teens be treated like adults?

Raine - posted on 03/09/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have 2 children ages 14(son) and 17(daughter).
I am a liberated parent, and people have told me that I give my kids ''too much'' freedom.
For example- I allow my children to date, have parties at my house(no alcohol) their curfews are 10 p.m. on school nights and 11:30 on weekends. They don't have bedtimes. I allow them to make their own decisions, while guiding them of course. I am not a strict parent or the type of parent that says ''no!'' all of the time. I give them room to make mistakes, grow, and find their own way. Teens are in the process of becoming adults and if mature enough, they should be able to make adult decisions. I was raised in a strict home, by very old fashioned parents. I wasn't allowed to date at all until I was 18, I had a curfew until I moved out, which was 20. I also wasn't allowed to go anywhere without an adult until I was 18. And I felt like I was missing out on all the fun of being a teenager. I don't want to do the same to my kids. All teens are not irresponsible, nor do they need to be watched over 24/7. They should have freedom and independence with boundaries. In my opinion, they are not children, but developed human beings. They WILL make their own decisions at some point. Whether they are 14, 18, or 21. There isn't a certain age where you mature and become adult like. I am around teens all of the time and I see 14-16 year old's that are more mature and well spoken than some 30-something year old's. It just depends on the person. But age doesn't determine whether you are ready to make your own decisions and be on your own. Maturity does.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/10/2015

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Well, IMO, your kids do have way to permissive a lifestyle, but they're your kids.

Mine were raised with curfews appropriate to their ages, as well as responsibilities and privileges the same. Worked great. Hopefully yours will be successful as they gain their majority, and will be able to move forward with what you have taught.

I do find that parents who model their parenting style to be 'not what my parents did' tend to be more permissive, etc, but find later that the permissive lifestyle bites them in the butt when it comes to their kids being responsible human beings.

As Jodi states: They should be treated in a way that progressively prepares them for adulthood.

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2015

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I don't believe teens should be treated like adults, but I do think they should be treated in a way that respects they are BECOMING young adults in a way that progressively prepares them for adulthood. You can't just suddenly dump adult expectations on a kid the day they turn 18 if you haven't allowed them to make some of those choices and learn from the mistakes they have made (or not made). They need to learn to make good adult-like choice before 18.

Raine - posted on 03/09/2015

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@Dove
My son doesn't have all the same freedoms as my daughter, but some. My daughter is allowed to go on unsupervised dates because she's old enough to drive. My son has a girlfriend and they see each other every weekend, she comes over to my house for a few hours. But they aren't unsupervised. I try to distinguish age appropriate freedoms you know? When my son starts driving he'll pretty much have way more freedom than he already does.

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