should we try for another?

Jennifer - posted on 04/02/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




i want to make this into a list form only becuase its the only way i can think of getting all the info into the question,

my fiance and i want to have another baby but we are unsure if right now is the right time, here are our reason as too why and why not

reasons why we want too;
-our son is now 7 months old and we want out kids close in age
-we definitly have the space for aonther
-we always wanted a big family

here are the reasons y we dont think right now is a good idea;
-our son sometimes doesnt sleep through the night ever so often
-since our son has been born he has had the flu, and had croup, which exhausted me a lot
-we are having a lot of money problems(but i have told him it doesnt matter to me how much money we have, only becuaase when we decided to have our first born he was unemloyed, and i told him that u cant predict the future, and things worked out then so why cant they work out this time)

can someone please help me make a better decision, or should we just stop preventing another baby?,


View replies by

Shelley - posted on 04/06/2011




Only u & ur fiance can make this decision...when the time feels right...u will know. I would wait if it was me...just for the fact times r tough right now even w/ppl who have jobs. Buying diapers for 2 babies, not to mention when one gets sick the other usually gets it too.
GooD Luck!

[deleted account]

i think it's an individual decision and no one can make it but you. for my opinion on it, i think you should wait until your son is at least 1 before trying for another because i'm pretty sure that's how long it takes your body to recover after having a baby. i also think you might want to wait until your finances are a little more stable, rather than just hoping it works out.

Lissa - posted on 04/06/2011




My advice is also to wait until you have your finances back on an even keel. With your Fiance already working two jobs it's would be very stressful for him to have even more pressure on him to keep you all financially afloat. Along with that being pregnant and having a young child is so tiring (my youngest two are 15 months apart) you really need someone who can be around enough to help you out and that's before you even have the baby. Added to that you never get a nights sleep now so it would be even more exhausting.

If you wait... hopefully you will have stopped smoking and your financial stress will be eased and your husband may only have to have one job, your little one will sleep through the night so you will be less tired. All of these things would make a happier, healthier pregnancy. Also you probably have 20+ years over which to have the big family you want.

Just my opinion, only the two of you can make the decision.

♥TIA♥ - posted on 04/06/2011




You don't have to take this to heart. I am christian. For my situation it was on God's time. If it were to happen with or without financial situations being good or bad. Then so be it. If it were to happen as a way to assist my will and power to be smoke free, hold true to it. If it isn't meant to be, then I wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Like I said, it is my personal opinion and as far as debating yourself if you should have a child right now or not. You just may never have one. I know even through the most difficult times having a baby does make it worth your worries. No matter the outcome sweetie. Good Luck~!

Shannintipton - posted on 04/02/2011




Hi Jennifer,
Dont you think that ONLY you and your partner can make that decision? Just a thought{:+)
shannin tipton

[deleted account]

You definitely can't predict the future and I'm a big believer in that there is no such thing as 'financial security', but actively trying to get pregnant while you are currently having financial trouble is not wise. Neither is actively trying to get pregnant while you are planning to give up smoking or in the process of giving up smoking.

It's totally your decision, but my advice and opinion is to wait. You are both still young and your baby is still young. There is plenty of time. Why don't you try giving up smoking NOW and start getting your financial situation straightened out and put the idea of having another baby on the 'back burner' for another 6 months or so.

Jennifer - posted on 04/02/2011




well see the thing is my fiance and i both want out kids close together, we can manage with wat we have and still have left overs, but the thing is we both want another one, and i just dont want to jump into things too soon, i know im only 21 and hes 23 but we are both mentally older than we really are, the only reason we are having money problems is becuase we have high hydro bills, and he is still going through bankruptcy, so he can only make a certain amount of money every month so we kinda have to work with wat we can, i have no problems working things out to make it easier on us, i am trying to quit smoking at the moment, and once i quit it will give us about another 300 bucks every month to work with, so i really dont see how money could be a problem, i just dont know if right now is the right time, i really do want another baby and so does he, but i dont want my first born to miss out on anything, i am a stay at home mom and my fiance works 2 jobs, so i would be doing most of everything for the kids, but i just want someone else to help me make the decision :S, i know it sounds bad, but i need more input :S

Katherine - posted on 04/02/2011




I agree with Brandi. There is never really a RIGHT time to have another child. Either you do it or you don't. Having a 7mo and then having a 7mo and a 19mo is a lot of work, let me tell you. My girls are 3.5 years apart and that's perfect. You sound like you're still young and I would wait a bit if I were you. Just my opinion.

Brandi - posted on 04/02/2011




If you're having money problems, I'm gonna say it's a bad idea. Taking care of one child is obviously doable for you guys, but taking care of two, especially when both of them are in diapers, is a lot. You have to think about your other child too. Right now you can provide for him. I wouldn't risk that to have another baby.

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