single---adopt or donor?

Jan - posted on 01/03/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




I am very confused at the moment. I am 42 and single and very much Mom material. I have always wanted to foster/adopt but I had also wanted to have a biological child. I can't imagine my life without children and I am getting very worried now.
In terms of biology i have not had any success yet with a biological child. I haven't tried a lot yet though but my age is against me.
I worry I will be discriminated against adopting.
Another issue and I'll try to be brief, is my mood is not great about myself right now.
I don't suffer debilitating depression. I am very productive but I do have depressed moments. It's mainly brought on by life experience having no family and having been abused in the past. I feel alone. I want a family.
I also suffer acne and it makes me isolate myself. Knowing I wanted to try for a child I went off acne meds as they are contraindicated for pregnancy. I get really bummed out at acne flare ups because they are huge and painful. I don't go out and end up depressed. I first thought oh, I can manage zits for 9 months but it's not so simple.
So now my thoughts are, if this happens for 9 months and I isolate myself, my depression could become severe and it's already scary enough being single without family. Perhaps I should go back on medication, focus on adopting and networking myself to be the best I can be? I don't know. Please understand I know that acne is a small price to pay for a beautiful baby. That's not all this is. It's depression and needing to take care of me to be the best Mom I can be.
I am in this situation of being older because I would only want the best for a child..the best mom, the best everything.
The failed attempts so far are not helping either. The highs every month thinking I had a success and then it not working is crushing me :(

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