Single Mom -- 50/50 Custody

Mommy - posted on 04/17/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

12

0

3

I am currently going through a custody battle with the ex boyfriend who is basically taking his anger and frustration out on me because I left him. He since had to move in with a relative, is currently unemployed and has been for about a year now and does not have his own transportation. I dont say all this to slander or put him down, but it basically shows WHY he's trying to make things harder for me because he blames me for the situation he is currently in. He knows that the only way he can hurt me is through our soon-to-be one year old child. I am just needing some type of encouragement on how to deal with the not having her on a regular basis and possibly going a whole week without having my child whom I've never went a day without since birth & have been exclusively breastfeeding since birth. Does it get easier? How do you deal?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Trisha - posted on 04/17/2015

551

0

13

Full disclosure: Never been in your situation, but looking from an objective perspective maybe you should try to look at it not from a "he is trying to get back at me" situation, even if that is the truth.

Try to embrace the situation and encourage a relationship between the two. Take the time that he has the child to explore your own interests again.

Why? Well because if he is the father, he is going to end up getting the 50/50 custody anyways, and there is no point railing against it. And, if you are correct, and he is strictly doing it to hurt you, then if he sees that it is not adversely affecting you, he will show less interest in it.

You need to be prepared though - he could just be doing it because he wants to get to know his son.

Look into co-parenting and start having real adult conversations with your ex to try to make that process work for everyone.

6 Comments

View replies by

Mommy - posted on 04/17/2015

12

0

3

I have started feeling like you as far as not putting my child through a custody battle and allowing this to just be settled even for full custody. Was that a hard decision for you to make? Do you see your child/children often?

Mommy - posted on 04/17/2015

12

0

3

You are 100% correct. Regardless of his current status, if he wants to be an intrical part of his childs life I shouldn't be opposed to it. Which i'm not, its just the amount of time that I will lose out on in her life but regardless I am the Mother and he is the Father and we both deserve to share an equal part in her life. The reason I feel he is doing so to get back at me is because of his current situation and as he plainly stated, he DOES NOT want to pay child support. Yes he was good enough to have had a relationship with at one point in time but when the physical abuse started I had to get out despite his many attempts to discourage me from leaving based on what he would do as far as custody of our child. I wish so many times that I would've pressed charges but I didn't want my child to not have a relationship with him based on him not being a good man to me in a relationship but could potentially be a great dad.

Jodi - posted on 04/17/2015

3,562

36

3907

How is going for 50/50 custody him making things hard for you? He just wants equal rights to his child. I fail to see how this is wrong.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms