Single Mom and Confused

Kimberly - posted on 06/07/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )




Hello Ladies. I was with my guy for 9 and a half years. Last year we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world. About two weeks ago he decides he wants to leave. You see before we had my baby, we decided to leave our apartment because he lost his job and I was on maternity leave. We decided to move back in with my parents. He didn't feel comfortable because at the time he was jobless. My parents didn't have a problem just no sleeping in the same bed. That was understandable. He finds a job when she turns four months. We only have one car so I work in the daytime and he works at night. My mother is starting to voice her opinion on him and finding a car. I'm explaining to her that we are working on that. He's getting frustrated. So after a very heated argument between me and him, he packs up and leaves. He finally finds a car that day but later on he wanted to talk. We never do. He asks can he pick up our daughter. I said no problem. Well when he picks her up that next day, I ask him what's going on. Apparently it's over. He can't take the stress of the entire situation. I'm like Dude this is just something we have to go through until we get back on our feet. He's not having it. It hurts because I understand what he's saying but you can't give up so easily and unfortunately this is a pattern of his. When times get tough, he gets scared and runs. We are getting too old for this (late 20s). What advice can you ladies give me on a smooth transition into single motherhood and if I should hope he comes back?


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Ann - posted on 06/22/2016




I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It is a tricky one because you said this is a normal pattern of his. It seems like he only wants to be committed to you and when everything is going his way. Then when tough times come, he moves on. This is a bit scary because there will always be problems in life. I would like for someone to be there for me for better and for the worst. I have been through some hard times in life and my spouse has been there. Only time will tell if he decides to come back. I do have an excellent resource on single parenting.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2016




WHHHHAAAATTTT??? You are in your late twenties, and your parents won't let you share a bed? Sounds like I would have run too. That is not understandable at ALL! You have been together for 9 years, now you have a baby. Sounds like you both have some growing up to do, and your parents need to have less control of your relationship. Sorry love, move on with your life. Move out of your parents house. Find a career, and make a future for you and baby.

Dove - posted on 06/07/2016




He probably feels like you don't support or respect him if you are fighting because of what your mother said. It's none of her business how many cars you guys have... if you work opposite shifts there's no logical reason why you NEED a second car.

That plus the fact that he's a full grown man 'not allowed' to share a bed w/ the mother of his child even though you guys have been together for 9.5 years.

If you are both working, how close have you come to getting out in your own home again? Perhaps he would be willing to sit down and talk w/ you if that's a possibility since it seems like the bulk of the stress is coming from you guys not being on your own like mature adults.

As for single parenthood... you just do it. Day by day. Get a court order for custody, visitation, and child support... and live your life putting your child's needs above everything else.

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