sleep problems!

Lyla - posted on 03/24/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my 4 month old sleeps through the night great, but he will only sleep if he is in our bed. we want to break him of this badly, but he will scream for hours on end if we leave him in his own bed. he likes to sleep on his stomach (during nap time when we can watch his breathing) but i won't put him on his stomach at night. i think if i could do that, he'd sleep just fine.



any suggestions on how we can get him to sleep on his own??

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Lyla - posted on 03/25/2009

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thanks everyone, for all your ideas. we are going to try some things out this weekend, when sleep isn't an issue for us (both working full time, there's no way we can do it on no sleep)

I will let you know how it goes!

Kelly - posted on 03/25/2009

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Also -- something I forgot to mention but thought of once people started mentioning the Ferber Method (or the Cry It Out Method)....  If you are like me, and either can't bring yourself to do it, or you tried and it didnt work, you can get the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley... its a VERY helpful book and since your baby is only 4 months, it will probably work well for you since its only a habit thats formed for 4 months. We tried sleep training when my daughter was close to a year, and it was very difficult.  But I couldnt let her cry it out.... there are different theories on that, some people say they need to learn to self sooth.... Others believe that crying it out can lead to insecurities later in life... and there are studies done to back both.  Personally, at 4 months old, I dont feel like my daughter could have understood and so that method didnt work for me.  But Pantley's book has TONS of suggestions, for all different sleep issues, including cosleeping and moving baby to their own bed...  it would be very helpful, I'm sure!!

Tyla - posted on 03/24/2009

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Well I've found the Ferber method to be very effective, if you've never herd of it it's basically were you have a routine like a bath, book and then put the baby to bed awake and aware that your leaving him, you let him cry for about five min. then go in and show him your still there but don't pick him up and don't stay longer than a min. now this WILL make him mad that your leaving again but it's important for him to learn that he's ok on his own, then wait ten min. and do the same, then fifteen min. and so on, remember each time you leave he'll probably scream louder and louder, the worst part is for you to have to withstand his screams, he's not hurting and he will not think that your abandoning him, that's what you go in to remind him of each time.

It could take hours for about the first three nights to get him to bed, but just remember he's use to sleeping with you, this is all new to him. I started my daughter in her own crib after about five days home, so it wasn't to hard with her, but you just have to remember to be consistent and to not back down no matter how hard he cries, I know it sounds bad but the earlier you deal with this the easier it'll be.

Also I let my daughter sleep on her tummy since she was about a week old and yes she slept much better, but that's all up to the parent, I really felt comfort that the Lord was watching over her and she'd be fine, besides my mom told me when I was a baby doctors said it was unsafe to let babies sleep on their backs :)

Just remember things that are hard are usually worth it in the end! :)

I loved the book Baby 411 it really helps you adapt in the first year and man did it get me through, also if you need more support you can always message me, I'd love to help. Well good luck and please let me know how it goes.

-Tyla Gagnon

-mother of a two year old, and a bun in the oven!

Erin - posted on 03/24/2009

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This is a hard one for sure! We went through the same thing TWICE! I'm not one to tell others what to do with their children, and it's espically hard when you are scared of S.I.D.S. So I know the fear that goes through your head when you put them down to sleep. With my daughter, (our 1st) we did co-sleeping for about 6 months until it just started to be too much. It is a really great bonding experience, when EVERYONE is enjoying it. You'll know when you're ready to move him into his own crib, and if that's the case now then here are a few suggestions...

-Make sure his tummy is full when you put him down

-You can try to give him a warm bath before bedtime

-You can try some type of mobile or musical crib toy that is soothing

-Try calming him down with some before bedtime reading

-Get him set on a consistant bedtime routine

-And last but not least be ready for some serious screaming for about 3-5 nights

He looks like an absoultly adorible little boy, and he will get use to sleeping in his own crib. Our peditrician, who specializes in sleep studies in babies has told us that it is best to get them in their own crib before 9 mo. of age. It is easier for them to adjust. If he turns over on his own, there is nothing that you can do about that. Babies are usually more comfortable on their stomachs. I always put my children down on their back or side, and usually come in in the morning to find them on their tummys. My best advice is just prepair yourself for a good week of really not getting any sleep. And you will probably be just as upset as the baby, but the long term goal is really worth it! Turn the baby monitor down,(you'll be able to still hear him scream without it blasting in your ear and making you even more upset), grab a glass of wine, or a cup of warm tea and just try your best to make it through. Turn on some t.v. or music and maybe even spend some real one on one time with your hubby! You will get through this, I promise!

Good Luck!

Erin

Lynette - posted on 03/24/2009

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I had the same problems with my daughter but as soon as she fell asleep I would transfer her into her cot. It worked fine. Im now having the same problem getting her into a bed instead of her cot but am doing the same thing, waiting for her to fall asleep in her cot then transferring her to her bed! its working too! good luck!

Suzan - posted on 03/24/2009

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It takes gut wrenching strength and intestinal fortitude, but it can be done.  Have you tried the 5 minute, 10 minute, 15 minute process?  You have to come up with a bedtime routine first such as a nice warm bath, bottle or nurse, some low, soft music during the feeding, then asleep or not, you put him in his own bed.  You can pat his little tummy for a moment if he's still awake, but then you leave the room.  If he is anything like mine were, he'll either cry as soon as you lay him down or wait a minute before he starts to scream.  You have to wait FIVE full minutes before you go back in.  You can't pick him up, just rub his little tummy, speak softly, but do NOT pick him up.  Wait til he calms down a bit, but no more than a minute or two, then walk out of the room.  If he starts to cry again, and chances are he will, you wait 10 minutes before going back in.  Repeat same process, but do NOT pick him up.  If he starts to cry again, and he will, wait 15 minutes.  This could take a couple of hours, but it is worth it. Note: after the 15 you start back at 5, 10, 15, 5, 10, 15.   It was the HARDEST thing I ever did in my life! But I couldn't let my daughter sleep with us anymore when she was a baby.  (She's 22 now and doesn't remember a thing! lol) 



OR you could just keep letting him sleep with you.  LOTS of people are firm believers in allowing the kids to sleep with them. However, it isn't very condusive if you want to have more children, if you know what I mean. ;o)  And trust me, it will be much harder, much more nerve wracking to do this with a 5 year old than it will with an infant! 

Christy - posted on 03/24/2009

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Hello..I am a mother of 3 boys..good luck..my boys continue to get in my bed...maybe trying getting him a little blanket to suggle with

Teresa - posted on 03/24/2009

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hiya i have 4 children and they all slept on there tummys they get the sence of security, i advise u to put him in his cot and chat to him and put the top u have been wearing the day so that he can smell u that might make him feel closer to u. sleeping on his belly is a million times safer then having him in bed with u hun u must break the habit good look xxxxxxxxxx

Gizelle - posted on 03/24/2009

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by the time my son could turn over he slept on his front and slept soundly just make sure there are no teddies or blankets in the way to cover his nose if something was good enough for me at that age its good enough for my child

Kelly - posted on 03/24/2009

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have you tried a cosleeper??  It pushes right up to the bed so the baby feels like they are in your bed, but they arent REALLY in your bed...  some turn into a bassinet and you can then put up the side and move him farther away from the bed each night.



Also, you can try letting him fall asleep in your bed and then moving him over to his own bed once he's asleep...  Also how do you get him to fall asleep?  If you are nursing him or rocking him, you can do that then lay him in his bed....  Good luck! I had lots of sleep issues with my daughter.  But now she sleeps in her own bed all night just fine, trust me it does get better! :)

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