So I am new to Circle of moms. I am having problems with my boyfriens mother. She doesn't respect my role as Chloe's mother at all. I have always been kind to her, but I don't feel like I will ever be good enough for her son. She always is in compitition with me for his attention. She seem to think I can't take care of myself and I am just using him to stay at home, I can't help it if he has the better paying job and we can't afford daycare. So I stay home with our daughter. Now she wan'ts us to drive to Montana for Mothers Day...For her Mothers Day not mine. Its like she completely forgot that I am also a mother. I really don't want to spend Mothers Day at her house. What should I do? My boyfriend and I got in a fight about it because I thought it was wierd that she needs her grown son to drive all the way out there to see her knowing I would want to spend it with my boyfriend and daughter. Am I being selfish? Now he says he will just take Chloe and go without me. So now I am to spend it alone? I feel hurt that he always takes her side. I wish he would just stick up for me.


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Isaura - posted on 05/01/2012




If you change she will change.. Maybe you don't understand those words but is fact. I know is not easy. But you can't fight with a person that is loving, patient and understandable. Good lock!

S. - posted on 05/01/2012




I'd Remined him that it's mothers day not grandmothers day and if your staying so is your child to celebrate you being her mother, however I can be a bit head strong were it comes to my mil and my kids go so proberlby not the best advice to take lol.
Can you not travel to her house and only spend a few hours there? Or tell your boyfriend that you will all have to go the week before as you want to have mothers day at home this year?

Alison - posted on 05/01/2012




The real issue here is not between you and your MIL, it is between you and your boyfriend. It is actually not unusual to spend mother's day with your extended family, but if you don't get along well, it is probably not the best solution.

Try to respect your boyfriend's loyalty to his mom and look for a compromise. If this is an ongoing issue, you may want to take it to counseling.

Tabitha - posted on 05/01/2012




While it would be nice if every mother could see her child on Mother's Day, he's an adult and needs to cut the cord! His responsibility is to you and his family now. No, I would not allow him to take your child on Mother's Day. If he MUST spend it with his mother, he can do it alone. After all, you're a mother too and you want to be with your child!! Also, anything that goes on in your home is your business, not his mother's.

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