So my pre teen is asking me about questions like Why do we have breast and Why do I need to have a period? Its not that she isn't get the reasons but as to why in the hell are women burden with these things and not boys. Please help.

Catherine - posted on 01/21/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




She is bigger than most girls and already at 12 is developing like if she was 15. I feel so bad because I feel she is getting rob of being a little girl. She isn't getting into a transition easily to women hood but pushed into something she isn't ready for at all. I don't know how to talk about it with out going over bored and saying too much info she doesn't need to know yet. Any moms out there who have teens please help. I never had a good relationship with my mom and always kept quite about everything and never asked questions. Well 3 kids later and still struggling with finishing my masters. I feel like I never got the guidance I needed from my mom and don't want that to happen to mine.


Michelle - posted on 01/21/2012




well first off your daughter is very normal to start developing at 12 many these days are starting at 11 some at 10. I would go all out and have the talk with her as unfortunately the reality of today many early teens are starting to have sex and such and so she needs to know from you what it is all about. How to protect herself from disease and pregnancies as well as how to empower her self to feel secure in saying no. Be straight with her she has probably already knows most of this if she has been given sex ed in school as my son is only in grade 5 and has had two years of it already.

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2012




Gosh! I had my period at 11! I can't imagine her not understanding the different changes at 12. It's time to have a long sit down chat with her and explain the differences between girls and boys and why our bodies change the way they do. Maybe explain it as in a way that girls change into women and their bodies change to prepare them to become mothers one day (if they so chose).


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I would say that this is the way the species evolved. Point out other animals such as horses and cats who go into estrus/heat and make it a joke that isn't it lucky human women don't have to deal with that as well.

As to breasts, they're there to help us feed our babies like other mammals and the period is just monthly reminder that we're not currently pregnant.

I would try and explain that it's not a burden, just annoying at times.

Stifler's - posted on 01/30/2012




I got my period at 12 that's a pretty normal age to get it and start developing breasts. I get wondering why we are afflicted with those things though especially when you're not thinking about kids or breastfeeding, that's part of being a teenager. I would have a talk to her about sex etc. aswell.

Ianina - posted on 01/21/2012




As Michelle said, I'd go all the way and tell her everything.

I had my first period at 11, yeah...not fun

But is good for her to know as much as possible and to understand her body and how it works.

Good luck

Catherine - posted on 01/21/2012




Thanks Michelle. I started to read about other moms on here and their issues with boys. Like that they were watching porn at 12. That was a shocker. I mean things are so easy to access and we have so much to deal with then ever before. My daughter and I had a talk about babies around 10 ironically. So I guess she is still on the same time line with everyone else. However I am trying to teach about respecting herself and how not to give in to peer pressure. Most of her friends are younger and she started late because of the cut off. So next year is when she goes to middle and Im about to freak out if any little prick comes close to her. SHe is very sweet and Im not naive to think she isn't knowing whats happening. Though I don't think she is asking questions like what sex is about but more like women get the short end of the stick. Thats how she feels like it. She said Well mom can we just skip this whole puberty thing. She wants to be an Architect and I tell her well hun thats a MASTERS degree. She sees how I am struggling and how with kids everything is harder and more expensive. She is at least learning I'm not a loser but sees my struggles and as a little lazy as she is. Which I don't push as much as I should but she is like man kids work and school are too much. But I wish there was a plan in life for all of us so we punch all the info we want and everything will come out perfect. Our lives will be perfect but I can't guarantee that. 1 :

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