Sometimes I feel like a hostage in my home

Diana - posted on 09/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Has anyone had one of their children at home against your will? My 18 year old son Has no job, no college. He says he needs time, he's not ready. He smokes weed in our shed and really doesn't listen to anything we say. We are trying to avoid involving the police because that's a path thats hard to get off of but we will eventually do that if need be. I don't need comments like throw him out I really would like to know that I'm not alone and what others have done in this situation..


Dove - posted on 09/10/2014




I'm not in that situation as my oldest is 13, but I WOULD kick them out if they are smoking pot and not working or in school. I will always love and help and support my kids, but I refuse to become an enabler.


View replies by

Guest - posted on 09/10/2014




Hi there, I'm not quite there yet, but I thought I could offer some support. I work with at risk teens, and with teens and young people who end up homeless because of various bad choices.

How long has it been since he graduated high school? Sometimes they really do need a little time to figure out what they want to do. I encourage parents to start discussing options during their child's Junior year, and start making commitments in the senior year to avoid the pitfalls of last minute or hastily made BIG decisions. That said, It's not too late!!

Sit down with your son, and if you have not already, help him to develop a personal mission statement. Make note of his values, strengths, and goals, then develop a way for him to use his strengths to accomplish those goals in ways that complement his values.

Once he knows what it is he wants to accomplish, and has a plan for how he can use his strengths to benefit, help him develop an actual action plan--a set of steps he needs to take to get himself on the path he wants to be one. Set aside a specific time for him to work on these steps and try to avoid letting outside interruptions disturb that time.

Knowing he is working toward something he cares about will motivate him to get going, you just have to figure out what that is first, or he will just be running in the wrong direction.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms