Son's Dad's New Girlfriend Issue

Hali - posted on 09/15/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My son is going to be 5 and his dad and i split up about 1 year ago. He and i both have new significant others. The first time I met his girlfriend I had just found out they moved in together, she tried to avoid me and run away from me. My son chased her down and asked if she said hi to me. I tried to shake her hand and say hello, but she pretended to be on the phone and shook my hand with the same hand i put out (Instead of the opposite hand, like a normal hand shake). I tried to meet her a second time and she was sitting on the couch in their house but didnt even look up at me when i said hi.

Flash forward a few months to now...when i go over to pick my son up from his dads (at least twice a week) she hides in the bedroom or the backyard until i leave. A couple days ago, my sons dad "liked" one of my pictures on social media and i guess she threw a fit about it...claiming she is the "other woman". Granted, he moved her in with him, supported her until she got a job (recently), they have a puppy together, and spend all their time together. He and I still have a civil relationship and i maintain a civil relationship with his family, mainly for my sons sake but i get along with his family well and adore them. Last night, she "liked" a picture on my social media, started following me, then undid everything and blocked me...but i still got notifications on my phone.

She is immature and disrespectful and i feel it's time to have a talk with her. bad idea? where do i start? what should i say? I feel it's necessary now and i'd like to get to know the girl that's spending so much time with my son. I feel like i need to get the point across that i am going to be around but i am not a threat...I've had it with this!


View replies by

Jodi - posted on 09/16/2015




Leave it be. She doesn't have to like you. As long as she is kind to your child and not causing him any grief, you don't need to say anything.

I've never met my ex husband's wife. They've been together for about 6 or 7 years. It doesn't affect my son, so I just roll with it.

MaryAnn - posted on 09/15/2015




I would almost gaurentee she thinks she is doing what is best. You cant expect her to be ready to form a relationship with you while coming at the situation as a right to know her. In reality, so long as your son is safe, you have no business in what happens when he is with his father, and until something goes horribly wrong, you have no reason to question his judgement on who he lives with and who he introduces his son to.
That being said, I think it is wonderful that you want to know her. It would be very beneficial for everyone. She seems quite shy and probably feels like an invader.
Try extending an olive branch. Neutral grounds, no son no father, no talk about either. I can almost gaurentee there are things you have in common.
I bet you both think the little man is awesome, but it may be scary for her to be confronted about how awesome he is by his mother. Maybe you both like dogs. Maybe you both like the same kind of food.
It will take time to build a relationship, but it can be done.

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2015




My ex husband's girlfriend is the same, I just let it go. As long as I can still communicate with my children's Father, that's all that matters.
As long as she isn't saying nasty things to your son about you then I would just ignore her as well. Some people aren't worth the effort.

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