Spoiling my 2-month old baby?

User - posted on 10/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My son spends some minutes on his own (in front of the TV, looking at a toy/Picture, etc) when he is awake, but recently he has started to want to be held all the time otherwise starts nagging and then crying. I usually hold him and walk when it's his sleep time, so I think this is how it all has started! If he is awake and I put him in his crib he will nag and cry and doesn't sleep on his own.

My husband thinks that we have spoiled our baby and thinks that we should leave him to cry and either fall asleep or calm himself. He thinks that if we don't do this now I will be suffering later on (as he will be heavier and also I wont be able to do anything during the day) and that "No baby has died of crying! Let him cry!" He has started to avoid even touching the baby to show him that he is not responding to his cries, even gets mad at me when I stay in the room and hold his hand to sooth him! (giving him another bad habit!)

I am a disciplined person, but absolutely refuse to discipline my baby at the price of making him an all-the-time crying (and afraid of being left alone) baby, which I sense my son has started to be :(

Now here is what I wonder:

1. is it too early to make a baby cry to sleep at 2 months?

2. If yes, when would be a better time without having him already too attached?

3. How long is safe for a 2 month old baby to cry?

4. How can I deal with this moderately? Not to spoil my son and yet giving him all the emotional security he needs?



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Dove - posted on 10/06/2012




You can not spoil a 2 month old by holding them 'too' much. At that age... there is no such thing as holding them too much. If you have to set them down to pee or something... it is ok to let them cry (better than exploding your bladder) for a couple of minutes if you HAVE to, but you talk to them when you aren't holding them and then go back and pick them up again as soon as you are done... and if it's something that can wait or be done while holding the baby... you do it that way.

You can NOT spoil him at 2 months old, but you CAN risk doing lifetime damage to his brain and ability to bond properly with people. Have your husband google reactive attachment disorder. My friend just adopted a little boy with that and it is NOT fun or easy to deal with at all. I, personally, am against CIO at any age, but around a year letting them cry for a few minutes at a time 'might' not be the end of the world. The more emotionally secure you make him now... the less you might 'have' to let him cry later. He WILL become more independent and emotionally mature in his own time. I promise.

Lacye - posted on 10/06/2012




1. Yes. 2 months old is WAY too early to even attempt crying it out.

2. Closer to 8 months to a year is better, some people argue later than that.

3. For a 2 month old, not very long. They do not understand what it is you are wanting him to do. Crying is his natural way of saying, "I need you."

4. You can't spoil a 2 month old. They cry when they need you. That is their only way of communicating with you. Hubby needs to take a chill pill.

[deleted account]

1: yes it is too early let a baby cry it out

2: see 1

3: again, see 1

4: your BABY is only two months old. Hold him, comfort him as much as he needs. He will become secure from knowing you are there and he is not alone. He needs you. He is tiny and vulnerable, it is his survival instinct that makes him cry for you. At this stage in his life and until he hits 12 months (at least) he believes he is a part of you and he is lost without you.

Your husband is right when he said "no baby has died of crying" but if you truly want to raise a baby who is confident and emotionally secure then I do not recommend you leave him to cry and I do not recommend that you or your husband become emotionally distant from him when he does cry.

For God sake, he is just a tiny little baby. Nuture him now and you will see the love grow. Good luck to you. :-)

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