Stay at home mom vs working mom

Bridget - posted on 11/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi everyone
I am not necessarily a mother yet, but hopefully will be sometime soon in the future. I have my degree in teaching, and have worked a little in the workforce (I am 23). My husband is in the military so we travel around a lot so it can be hard sometimes to find a teaching job here and there. Anyways. I always like to plan for the future and wanted a opinion of caring moms out there. I was considering being a stay at home mom once we have kids. I figure the income I would be bringing in if I worked honestly wouldn't be that much once the child costs are taken out of it. My mother was a stay at home mom, and I appreciate that she was. I guess I just would feel guilty if I chose not to bring in an income. My hubby works so hard, and we want to wait until he gets promoted and clear any student loans he has from the past before starting a family. I just can't shake the guilt I guess. I don't want him to think I'm lazy by not working (even though he says he won't think so)-- I guess I am just battling with my inner emotions. What are the benefits? cons? let me know :)


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Sarah - posted on 11/10/2014




The pros and cons are really going to change from family to family and situation from situation. I would suggest you writing out a pros cons list for your family. As for the guilt the grass is always greener on the other side no matter who you are. If you are a working mom your guilt is not being able to spend enough time with your child. If you are a stay at home mom your guilt is not providing financially. There is always guilt no matter what you do. As a couple you work together to provide for your family. For some that means both the husband and the wife help out financially to the family. For others that means the husband provides for the family financially and the wife provides for the family through the home life.......figuring out how you can make that money go even further, providing care for your kids and being their for them instead of paying someone else to do that care, allowing your time together to be family time instead of errand time (most working families have to do their errands and grocery shopping during that time as well as they are at work during the day). There was an article recently and I can't remember the correct name but it was talking about how stay at home moms are an asset to their husbands. I would encourage you to find that article as it was a good one. It talked about how instead of looking at what you can't give to look at what you are giving. You are able to have a meal on the table when he gets home, instead of both of you walking in the door and then having to make a meal. He is able to work longer hours when there is a need instead of having to get off by 5 pm to do day care pick up. You are able to get the grocery shopping and errands done during the day instead of having to do those in the evening or on the weekend thus cutting into family time. You are able to be the primary caregiver of your child instead of a day care worker. You are able to schedule and make the appointments that are needed for the child instead of him having to take off work to do so. If your child is sick you don't have to figure out who is able to stay home.

Other things to consider when doing your pros/cons is what other options do you want to consider. Instead of being hired as a teacher maybe working as a sub would allow you a balance of both work and home. Or working as a part-time teacher (if that was an option with the school).

Also know that once you have a baby that inner emotions might be totally different. For some they are ready to get back to work after maternity leave and others can't imagine doing anything else but being at home.

Tia - posted on 11/10/2014




I am a working mommy of a 16 month old baby boy and I will tell you that I am doing everything I can to become a SAHM mommy :) I knew that there was no way I could stay home without making an income, so that is what I am working toward now. By March of 2015 I will be a full time SAHM mommy and a part time AdvoCAre distributor so that I can be home with my son and not sacrifice my income! You mention that your husband has student loans that you would want to clear up before starting a family. Have you considered looking into a work from home opportunity NOW so that you can fast track the debt payoff process and already have an income stream steady and growing when you DO start your family?!

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