step child

Babygirl9102007 - posted on 05/02/2016 ( 12 moms have responded )




I have been with a step child since he was 4 going on 5 and on his 5th birthday he told his mother then he did not want myself or my biological daughter at his party so I said we will not go .Over the years we are still together she has the kids full time her son That is now 12 still says he hates me and hates my daughter and it is ok for him to say that to us in front of his mother but if we say it back she gets upset things have not improved in the last 7 years but we try to stay together I'm frustrated and feel we need to break up because her son said he will not stop til they move any help would be great


Raye - posted on 05/04/2016




The mother seems to be encouraging the bad behavior because in her eyes it elevates her standing with the boy. This should not have been allowed to go on, and the father should have been the key person to remedy this situation. It's not right for the child to say he hates you, but he's a child who has been caught in the middle of a difficult situation and hasn't been taught how to express himself better. It is totally unacceptable for an adult to say they hate a child. Counseling is recommended for all of you, and definitely your husband needs to be more active in dealing with the mother to fix the boy's attitude. This whole situation is unhealthy, and has been for a long time.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/04/2016




Really? You go down to a 12 YO level and tell him you hate him back?

Wow. No wonder he wants nothing to do with you or your daughter on HIS day. You don't get to have a say in his parenting...that is for his parents.

You need to work on YOUR adulting, a big way. Way to step up and show a good example, not only to your own daughter, but to the step son. Oh...wait, you didn't do that...You jumped right down to a childish level with the "I hate you too".

Yeah, I'm on his side

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2016




I'm also wondering why this has been going on for 7 years.
Dad should have stopped the attitude from him years ago. Mum also isn't helping the situation.
I would also suggest counseling but since he has been allowed to treat you like that for so long, it's not going to change in a hurry.
You also need to stop saying it to him though.


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 05/04/2016




It certainly isn't ok for him to say he hates you and there should be a consequence for him. I think his behavior did not get noted becasue you are the grown-up. Mutual respect is the goal and the whole family need to work to achieve it.

Babygirl9102007 - posted on 05/04/2016




Thank you Michelle waldbillig I do appreciate your input I do agree with you that I need to stop saying it to him I just get so frustrated Noone sees a problem with him saying it there is only a problem with me saying it

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2016




Here's what I posted in the other post but then realised it was a duplicate:

I'm sorry, you are the adult, and yet when he says he hates you, you say it back to him? Seriously? Grow up! No, it is NOT okay for him to say this to you, and in fact, his father needs to work with him, and also with his mother around this, but that does NOT make it okay to say back to him. Honestly, this should have been dealt with like adults back when he was 5, but clearly it wasn't and his father is not taking it upon himself to do anything about it. This is not, and never was your battle. But I will say I am disturbed by the fact that you think it is okay to tell a kid you hate them........

Where is dad in all of this?

Ev - posted on 05/02/2016




That is not how you handle a situation with a child be the fact they are step children or not or other relations. That just does not show maturity in the adult. You need to have dad talk to this kid about his behavior around you and your daughter. And the mother is not being adult either. I think you guys need counseling.

Babygirl9102007 - posted on 05/02/2016




I have but I try to do reverse psychology like when he says I hate you I say ok so if I say I hate you how does that make you feel he says he don't care

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