Natalie - posted on 02/29/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a 9 year old son and two step-sons ages 8 and 9. Sounds perfect, my son got instant brothers. But it's anything than perfect for me. I've been with my now husband for 5 years, living together for 3 consecutive years (I left him year 2) and we married 1.5 years ago. I promised myself I would not move my son again but now I feel trapped and miserable. We have our own marital issues, he has a temper and snores. Snoring doesn't sound like a big deal unless you're a light sleeper like me and sleeping on the couch every night. The bigger issue is his kids. We have all of them the same days 50% of the time. I love my son to pieces but dread when his kids are here so I'm either avoiding and hiding or angry and fighting with him over them. Their biological mother was, maybe still is, bipolar (diagnosed) and has been making it up to these kids with $$ and anything they want because of her failure early on in their lives. She's loaded now, all from the divorce. The result is disrespectful, screaming, unappreciative kids. I keep trying to convince myself it won't be like this forever but what if it gets worse the older they get? They don't care about anyone or anything, they destroy our house, eat and waste everything in sight, and are constantly in trouble or suspended for these actions in school. He only knows how to yell, at them and at me. This is who my son gets to see when he's with me, unhappy frustrated mom. I cry on the way home, there's no comfort or peace. Am I doing my son more harm than good by sticking in this? On the one hand he's got brothers and friends at home (he tolerates their behavior, he's 9) but on the other hand, mom is miserable. I know I'm his mom but my son is an angel, smart, loving, and funny. He sees and feels everything I go through and I can't seem to fake it or make it work on my own. Maybe it's a unique situation but I have no one unbiased to talk to. Any advice or words of wisdom is appreciated.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/29/2016




was there ever any attempt to attend counseling for blended families? to make rules concerning ALL of the children?

I always wonder why people purposely put themselves into these situations. Honestly, NONE of this popped up overnight, not the kids misbehaving, not the arguments and the temper, and not the snoring...If you didn't address these issues PRIOR to your commitment to marriage, how did you expect them to work themselves out?

Ev - posted on 02/29/2016




Was there ever any talk about setting rules for ALL the kids and consequences to go with those that are broken. It seems to me communication on blending the family has not been done. Also, he should be making the boys behave but if he is not willing to do more than yell at all of you I am not sure what to tell you. You can not force him to do things with those kids he does not want to though you would like to have a peaceful home when they come. Their mom is also not helping the issue buying them things and letting them have their way and then when they come dad does too. It is not a phase and will worsen over time. I think you guys need to try counseling and so on.

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