Step daughter (adult) with 1 year old daughter and is heavy into heroin addiction

Patricia - posted on 01/09/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I can't take it anymore and need to talk with others out there. Recently found out that my step daughter was shooting up Heroin...she has been on Meth for years. She gave birth to a wonderful daughter 1 year ago and I thought she would "behave". She still finds any and every excuse to pawn off her daughter on you...have you buy her diapers and baby care items that food stamps doesn't supply. She has no food or milk in the house half the time but still blames you that she's in this situation or they don't give her enough food money. She's pleasant with you until you disagree with her about her drug abuse. She actually tried to con me and her bio mother last night into thinking it was right to shoot Heroin this last time before starting Methadone treatment "or they won't know I am really opiate dependent." I am a nurse and told her that was the dumbest thing I ever heard. Because all they have to do is look at her. She has always been thin but she has sunken in cheeks, she is skin and bones. She is only 80# soaking wet. Her veins in her arms are shot....if she ever needed EMT help they would have to drill into her leg, I told her that and it didn't faze her. The sad thing is she had the audacity to shoot up last night right in front of all of us, including her 1 year old, after having a tantrum that she is out of diapers and it's her bio mom's fault for not buying any. None of us have the money to keep helping her. It's always someone else's fault that she didn't make it to a facility for help. I feel like washing my hands of this except I love this girl and her daughter so much and I don't want to see anything happen to the baby....and I can easily see that happening. The baby was even trying to get her mom's attention last night and she just kept playing games on her tablet like the baby wasn't even there. How do you deal with this? I would rather turn her in and have her end up in jail and the baby with us "moms" than have either or both of them dead. I haven't ever had exposure to this type of addiction (I am a recovering alcoholic 8 years sober) but this is way out of control. I am not making excuses but my daughter always had diapers, food, and safe shelter. My step daughter is hanging out with people that get taken away in handcuffs once the police find them at her house. She calls these people "nice". I told her I never saw a nice drug dealer or addict. I don't get it. What can I do?


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Hi, in the last six months I have had to take steps to remove my 4 year old granddaughter from her mothers care, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, but I am glad I did. My only daughter, she is beautiful talented and smart ,I love her and was so proud of her. She started going off the rails at 14 is now 23 years old is in to drugs, hangs around with criminals and drug addicts, has been evicted from several public and private rental properties, She used to drive around while she was high with my grandaughter in the car, and would sleep half the day away leaving her daughter to fend for herself. She is now homeless and ,friendless (apart from her boyfriend who the police are looking for)., I used to give her money,pay her bills and make excuses for her, all the while trying to change her behaviour and help her to sort out her life, I finally realised that I was never going to change her....she had to want to change herself, and no...she hasn't yet. She blames me for everything...Everything, and I used to buy into it but no more, She was never abused , neglected or mistreated, quite the opposite, When she was 13 we used to walk down the street holding hands for Gods sake. The only way to help your stepdaughter is to step back, make her suffer the consequences of her actions,make sure she knows you love her and will be there when she asks for help, and please do not believe her when she blames you and her bio mum for her troubles, they all have to blame someone, and mums are easy targets. Please,please,please get the baby out of her care, you would never forgive yourself if something happened.

Ariana - posted on 01/09/2013




I would try to host some sort of intervention if possible. Your step-daughter is a drug addict, and needs help. I would ask her to go to some sort of rehab.

If she doesn't then I would call social services and try to get temporary custody of the child. She's a heroin addict and her daughter deserves better. Having her child taken might be the smack of reality she needs to get better. If she doesn't at least the child will be safe. I'm not saying you should try to keep the child forever if it's not necessary, I hope that would help her get her act together, but you have to think of the baby.

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