Step moms

Crystal - posted on 12/28/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )




I am a step mom to a 2.5 year old boy, my boyfriend throws the rules out the window whenever he visits and tells me he is his son and he will do what he wants, yet most of the time I do everything for him. Any advice?


View replies by

Ev - posted on 12/01/2015




I know you are caring for this child, but reality is you are not yet a step mom until you marry this man. But the others are right. There needs to be good communication between you and the BF needs to see that he is not doing his son any favors letting him run around the house running everything.

Macaria - posted on 12/01/2015




You can't be expected to give on both sides. You cannot be primary caretaker and not be able to have rules. Boundaries and consistency are what children want and need, hopefully you can have a conversation with your boyfriend and help him come to an understanding about his child's future well being. That way it is not about you and the child's best interest is going to be covered.

Amie-lee - posted on 12/28/2009




I have 4 children(3 boys 1 girl), 2 are from previous marriage (boys). In our house my husband has just as much say as i do, we are equals. They are our children and they know if my husband says something then do it, don't ask mum because i'll just agree and vice versa. We have had ups and downs but we have learnt to work together for our children to listen, never disagree in front of them. I have never said their my children and that i run the show (to do so we would head for ruin). My husband is more their dad than the actual father. Hope this helps in someway.

Renae - posted on 12/28/2009




If you have no say on the rules, then how can you be expected to care for him? I agree with Kate. Also, does your BF realise that he may only be 2.5 now, but what about when he's 4 or 5 or 10? Will there be rules then? There will HAVE to be and your BF will have to be the bad guy who suddenly starts making rules when his son breaks things, or injures himself. Isn't it better to start introducing "boundaries" and teaching right from wrong now than when something goes wrong later? Maybe that's how you could explain it to him.

Teshura - posted on 12/28/2009




Stop doing everything for his son. Let him take care of his child. I'm not trying to be mean to you I'm sorry if it's comeing out that way. If you keep on letting your husband disrespect you then he will keep doing it. So step back and let him have his son all to himself. Go and do something for youself. read a book go shopping and have so you time. He will see the era of his ways. If you keep doing everythig your husband will never see the wrong he and his son are doing.

Brittany - posted on 12/28/2009




i dont think thats need to sit down talk to him and let him know how u feel he needs to understand that u hqve earn his respect and by him throwing the rules out the window is just gonna make his son diregard anything u have to say.DEF need to talk to him

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms