Step-parent to be, help needed.

Stacey - posted on 07/16/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi have been dating my fiance for 4 years now and we are getting married in September. He has a son from a previous relationship aged 10. We used to get on very well but the past few weeekends he has come to us we do nothing but fight and argue with each other. Everything I ask him to do is an effort or he has 101 excuses. It is very difficult as my fiance works on the weekends we get him and we are unable to change as his mom and step-father get his step-sister on other weekends. What can I do?


Jodi - posted on 07/16/2012




I think maybe your partner needs to be involved in a discussion with him on what the expectations are. The two of you need to set some clear ground rules, and then BOTH of you sit down and discuss these with your step-son, outlining your expectations, and the consequences if they are not met. Dad ALSO needs to be involved in the consequences. If the expectations and the consequences are very clear, then there is no reason for fighting or arguing.

In the long term, I think you need to work towards your husband being home more on the weekends your step-son is there. After all, he needs to be spending time with his son. Alternatively, if there is a way of negotiating that every OTHER time you have him, dad is home (even if that means ever OTHER weekend at his mums is the one he sees his step-sister). It could very well be that he really resents coming to dad's for the weekend, and then dad isn't there.

Anyway, without knowing a lot about your situation, that's my 2 cents :)

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms