Step parents relationship with step children

Amy - posted on 07/19/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been married to my husband since my oldest daughter was 13, my middle daughter was 6 and we have a daughter together.

My husband has always been a little grumpy, moody, and expected a lot from the girls. A lot of this was because of how he was raised but still no excuse.

Recently, he and I have had some difficulties and he was talking to an old high school friend without me knowing. It never got passed talking but still an utter betrayal to me and my girls.

My middle daughter, who's father has nothing to do with her and my husband raised, was furious with him. She is very quiet and reserve and completely lost it on him. Not only because of his dishonesty but she drug up feeling like she had to walk on egg shells, how they were never close and never would be, and how she would be perfectly fine with me divorcing him. This crushed my husband. He cried like a baby after that conversation when he was away from her.

He is really trying, both with me and with her but she is not very receptive. She says it's too late and that they will never be close. He and my oldest don't even speak. They have never had a good relationship and now she pretty much despises him even more now.

Is there anything that can be done to restore this relationship? Is there anything besides time and prayer that my husband and I can do to help mend this between him and her?

Thanks for any advice. God bless.


Lisa - posted on 07/19/2016




There is hope my friend. It is a good sign that he cares so much and that he is trying. With your middle daughter - can you take her out and have a conversation about forgiveness? How we all make mistakes and when we confess and desire to make amends that it is a good thing to forgive. In fact, if she doesn't forgive, it will hurt her more than him. With time she will come to understand the need and how much he loves her. You might want to ask her how she is feeling and what she needs to get through this. It may give your DH some suggestions on how to proceed. With your oldest daughter, it may be more difficult. But again, forgiveness is often more for the forgiver than the forgiven. Bitterness can well up and cause all kinds of internal emotional issues. It might be a good idea for your DH to soften his ways with the girls too. If he wants to continue to impact them and play a significant role in their lives.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms