Stepdaughter sneaking out

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

Advice needed.... I have a 16yr old stepdaughter who lives with us fulltime. My husband works overnight and i've noticed she is staying up all night. Im 100% sure she is sneaking out at night but unfortunately haven't yet caught her. I have noticed unusual behavior, text messages(phone is turned off so they use wifi). I plan on staying up all night to catch her. Please keep in mind I have 3 bio kids ages 1, 5, 8 and do not my kids around this. I've tried talking to my husband on several occasions but he's not hearing any of it. How do I deal with this? Am I a horrible person for trying to catch her and if I do should I get involved or just not say anything and leave it for my husband to deal with?

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[deleted account]

Its is so frustrating. I get maybe he's in denial, but don't just blow me off.

I agree Summer, stepdaughter or bio she is still a child. She came to me last summer about some things she had done. I said I was not going to tell her dad but as an adult it's my responsibility to make sure she is safe. Had something bad happen, I would always feel guilt knowing what I knew and not saying anything.

If I catch her.... what am I supposed to do? Talking to her does no good. She claims to not understand me. They (her and her brother) moved here 2 years ago from Jamaica.... english is the national language so... yeah ok, whatever. Do I even make an effort to tell my husband since all she's going to do is lie?

It all boils down to this. We haven't had the best relationship but I also don't want her doing anything that she'll later regret or could cause her harm.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2018

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Sorry but your husband needs to step up and be a parent. He needs to listen to your concerns and you need to come up with a plan together.

Summer - posted on 04/07/2018

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Hi Jennifer

Wow..this is tough..she lives with you, but not your biological. I have the same situation...my step daughter is 15. For me, I see it as my responsibility...if you remove "step", then the daughter is left. I commend you for getting involved.

If you catch her..what are you planning on doing?

I see that it is your house, and whether your husband wants to be involved or not, that is his problem to deal with. But also look at it this way...step daughter or not, it is a young life that may be throwing away (depending on what she is doing)...any mom would want the best for a girl at that age.

Summer

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