Still with first love?

Shannintipton - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )




Are you still with your first love? Was it a struggle at times but able to move past it? Have you had many ups and down? Did you go through different stages. Example. Love, lust, verge of divorce and then finally friends? {:+)


[deleted account]

I am still on my first marriage, but I was engaged once before I met him. That man turned very possessive and distrusting after he proposed to me and I was afraid he had the personality that could easily become abusive.
I have been with my current husband for just over 11 years--married almost 9 years. I moved faster with my husband than I had ever moved with a man before, but it seems to be working out. There are tough times, times when I feel like I want a divorce, but we get through it.
We do go to marriage counseling, just twice a year for upkeep right now, but there have been times we needed it more often. Communication is SOOOO important, and so difficult, it helps to have a 3rd party translate, so to speak.It is also helpful to have someone make you look deep into the root of an issue; we tend to focus on the effects of the issue and it keeps happening over and over because we don't address the true issue, just the effects of it....if that makes sense.


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[deleted account]

I married what I thought was my "first love" of four years,ten due to the psychological trauma of being in Iraq for a year is what tore him apart..We tried to make it "work" when he came home at the time our only child my son Hunter was 1 1/2..Shortly after his green ramp arrival, things went down hill and that's when he went AWOL for two years...Meeting my daughters father was not planned,and I fell head over heels in the process...Come to find later that the person I "loved" never existed,and now almost three years later-My daughter is 2 1/2 now..I am still bitter,and hateful of all he has put me through...Best way to describe it would be the ringer.. I grew up without both parents in my life,and I swore that I would never be them- Lol funny how history repeats itself...I am still trying to let the past go with my daughters father-I guess you could say I considered him my "first love"....But oh do I regret it.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/03/2011




My parents love my husband more than me. I was a WONDERFUL child. They were so glad someone else took over payments. lol. My poor MIL. We get along great. She is wonderful. {:+)

Alecia - posted on 05/03/2011




:) my parents think i need to fix it and have a relationship with em, but fuck....after 5 yrs ive had enough of their shit. :p and as long as my huubby understand then thats what matters. and i dnt try and keep my hubby and daughter from them...i just dnt want to go over and be ignored or be given attitude. it is kinda sad that im 23 and they are in their 50's and i act more mature than them

Alecia - posted on 05/03/2011




P.S. my hubby's family hates me despite me trying hard for the last 5 yrs. i now refuse to go over but let him take our daughter to see them. and luckily he loves me anyway. some guys would say that if their parents dont like u then i cant be with u. but he knows ive tried and that they never really gave me a chance so he still loves me and stays with me

Alecia - posted on 05/03/2011




i had a few bf's and hook-ups before i met my hubby. i was 18 when we started dating and in my senior of HS. i am gonna be 24 nd it will be our 6 yr anniversary 10 days after my birthday and our 2 yrs wedding anniversary about a week before. our relationship has actually gotten better as we grow and mature. sometimes i dnt know how we made it through the beginning, but we did and are happy together. we still have our fights, but every couple does. we have a 19 mnth old daughter and she has brought us even closer together

[deleted account]

Oh, what 51 years of life brings!! A wonderful 18 year marriage to a wonderful man who gave me 4 great children, he passed away of cancer 11 years ago. Then 4 years later I found love again with a man I had known and dated in high school. We have been married for nearly 7 years, the best of times and the worst of times, lol. Believe me blended families are nothing like the Brady Bunch!!! Hubby's ex-wife and daughter have tried everything they can to split us up, hasn't worked yet but at times it makes our life he!!. My kids are now all grown up and come to visit for holidays and several times in between cause they love their mom and just want me to be happy. A second love in life can be great, but be ready for the ride!!

Ali - posted on 05/03/2011




i married my first love. we have been together for 7 yrs and been married for 2.5 yrs. its hard. we are best friends. we love doing everything together, and always have, our relationship started as a friendship and grew from there. i have 2 stepsons 10 and 8. i love them so much and i dont have kids of my own so i could imagine how much more intense that love would be for ur own child. my hubby and i have major issue's with their mother, she is VERY difficult. the kids want 50-50 care and have forever but she wont allow that. she needs to be in control of everything! yet we are the ones that take interest in their lives. the boys have said when they turn 13 they want to live with us full time. i am only 23 i am studying nursing and i am starting to want more freedom with my life to be able to acheive certain things. my hubby is older then me obviously.. its starting to come between our relationship for the first time.
i want the best of both worlds, i love my husband and my stepsons and i culdnt imagine life without them (i'd be lost!) but im not happy bacuase all i think about it what i could be doing if i was single for the first time in my life.
i dont know what to do. i dont want to give the boys a second broken family but i am young too and i just dont know what to anymore. my hubby and i argue heaps more now and he thinks i have an anwer for everything. (prob ture) so many things annoy me now but i dont know if its coz im battleing with this in my head or if im just falling out of love with him :(
i want to be happy and in love but the way my mind is going i cant see that.

Sarah - posted on 05/03/2011




I met my boyfriend (now husband) when I was 17 & he was 16. We are both 26 now & have been married for 4 years next month. We've been through some pretty crappy stuff, but we managed to get through it. His parents HATED the idea of us dating (because they thought I would ruin THIER plans for him), so they tried everything in their power to break us up. It was so incredibly frustrating & hard to deal with all that at the time. I get along better now with his parents, but it's still hard to let go of those memories of how things used to be.

We've also been through a long distance relationship at two different times. Once for about 4 months & the other time was for about 8 months. We've struggled financially, too but we are working on getting back on track. It's been hard, but we've learned how to deal lol. And now we have a handsome 19 month old son. :)

[deleted account]

Im still with my first love. We have been together for 15 years this year. There have been times when ive felt so in love i could burst, days when i want a divorce and other days when i could bash him to death with the frying pan lol.

Amber - posted on 05/03/2011




Not my first love, I guess. But the first love as an adult, knowing what I want, and knowing who I am :) I was engaged when I was 17, but in hindsight...that would have ended in divorce by now, so I'm glad he was a cheating loser instead.

Chad and I celebrated 5 years in January, have known each other 6, and are looking into a fall wedding for next year. So about 7 years in we'll finally get around to it.
We've made it this far by making sure that we talk about everything, and try to never say anything without thinking it out first(no angry conversations). If you don't say something hurtful, you have nothing to make up for later. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but I'd say we're at 97%.

He's an amazing man that I love and respect every day. We've had occasional moments that I didn't like him and shoving him out a window has crossed my mind briefly, but I always love him :)

[deleted account]

Nope. The only love I've been w/ for the past 3 years is my kids. That's ok though. Their love is unconditional. ;)

Johnny - posted on 05/02/2011




Nope. We didn't marry until I was 29 and he was 36. We'd only been together 2 1/2 years at that point, so we'd both lived a lot before we met. I am still friends with my first love (boyfriend of 5 years). We are in completely different places and wanted different things out of life. My hubby knows & likes him, but has no doubt that my romantic feelings have gone and have been replaced by a purely platonic love. My husband's (girlfriend of 3 years) lives in Russia now, they also have little in common. I also lived with another man for 2 years before meeting my husband.

Together, we have had a very stable relationship. We fell in love quickly, found that we wanted similar things from life, and have progressed fairly calmly through our lives together. Not much drama. Both of us having had so much other experience are able to relax and value what we have together.

Jodi - posted on 05/02/2011




Nope. We divorced 11 years ago after 12 years together and 7 years of marriage. Unfortunately, he experienced the death of his father in his mid twenties, and it changed him into an angry, violent person. He refused to seek help, so I had to get out of there in the best interests of myself AND my son. No, we are not friends, I don't think we will ever reach that stage - there has been too much water under the bridge. We barely even get along.

Peita - posted on 05/02/2011




I am 31 and so is my husband, we have been together since we were 16, we got engaged when we were 20, bought a house when we were still 20, got married when we were 22, had our first child at 23, had our 2nd child at 26 and our 3rd child at 29! We have renovated (pretty much re-built) our home over the years, I work from home part time and my husband works full time out of the home and I think we have a great balance in life :-) In some ways we are complete opposites, but most of the time we have similar interests and ideas... We rarely argue or fight and I think after our 3rd child I think our relationship got stronger, I almost lost my life during childbirth due to a rare complication and we both realise how much we have in our life together.. I would be lost without him now, we know each others quirks and moods and have learn't how NOT to push each others buttons and our home is pretty peaceful apart from the crazy kids lol!! Your relationship is what you make of it, I choose to have a good one :-)

Candi - posted on 05/02/2011




I am still with my first love. Started dating in 1993, got married in 1996 and been in love everyday. We are each others best friend. What other way would it be? We have 3 great kids. Neither of us were married or engaged before and neither had kids before and we didn't live together before we got married. Communication is key. Looking to have many many more years together. One thing that makes it even more special? We got married on my b-day (dec 21)

Nikkole - posted on 05/02/2011




I have been with my husband since i was 14 im almost 23 we have been married for 5yrs this July. We have had ups and downs every couple does but we talk about everything communication is key in a relationship! We are still madly in love :)

Bonnie - posted on 05/02/2011




I'm still with my first true love. We have had a few minimal ups and downs. Other than that, we will be married for 5 years this year.

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