Stopping the fighting

Amanda - posted on 02/21/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have a nearly 3 yr old boy and a 17 month old girl and they fight like cat and dog.

They kick, hit, scratch, pinch, bite, push,shout, jump on each other, throw things at each other, steal each others toys and snacks, if ones playing on their own the other will destroy the game.

I've tried explaining to them they have to play nice and look after each other, I've shouted at them, given them time out, taken toys away, made them play in their own rooms away from each other, I've even smacked them on the hand.

I know they love each other to bits, they ask for the other one when they're not around, and when they are in child care when I'm at the gym they are in seperable. They wont go to bed unless they've kissed each other good night and my son says night night, I love you see you in the morning to her.

Is this a normal phase that they will grow out of???
How can I stop them fighting the way they do??

Any advise or suggestions would be greatly appreciated


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Angela - posted on 02/23/2011




This is normal. My brother did the same to me. But when it came down to it, he was my biggest protector. Hopefully it'll be like growth spurts. There will be a time of peace before they hit another spurt of sparring. There will be times when they won't want to be seen near the other. You may want to try spending "special" time with each one every day, even if it's for 10 or 15 minutes. Reading or playing a favorite game with each separately will give them a break from each other, but will also let each one know they are special to you. It may be a situation of "Mom likes you more than me". It's not uncommon with siblings. Best of luck!

Tina - posted on 02/23/2011




Unfortunately it's perfectly normal. My brother and I fought all the time. But if someone else picked on one of us we stood up for eachother i think you'll find most kids are like it. You can try allsorts of things but it's just what siblings do unfortunately.

User - posted on 02/22/2011




hi amanda ,sounds like your having fun ,,stay strong hun it just normal sibling rivalry ,i have five daughters 2 have left home now and my youngest is 8 and has autism ,my other daughter is 9 and they always used to squabble and still do even if one snores in bed itll set the other off ,i found that buying sharing games help like the pitate game were they take it in turns to pull out the sward and head pops up ,it starts to teach them to take turns and sharing games anything like that ,i know even that can lead to squabbling but it does help ,sounds like they do love each other dearly and at times as hard as it is let them fight things out themselves as long as there not laying lumps out of each other turn a deafy as it could be to get your attention ,hope this helps xx

Louise - posted on 02/22/2011




I am afraid this is normal sibling behaviour, you are absolutely right that they are a support for each other when you are not there. I learnt very early on with my boys that the fought more when I was in the room and would tell tales on each other all the time trying to get the other into trouble. So I would send them to there room if I could not get them to understand to stop as I had had enough. The boys were about 12 months older than your youngest child so sending them to their room was an option. I found that they played lovely together if I was not about so I tried to show that I was not listening or watching them. When they came to me to squeal about the other I would just say I don't wont to know and in time this stopped. Once your children go to school alot of this does stop as they will have there own friends around to play with.

For the time being just try and keep them occupied with craft time and try and take them to mums and tots so they can play with children other than themselves.

But most of all the good news is this does not last forever!

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