Strange request from step daughter

LynnJLWG - posted on 06/07/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am a new stepmom of a 16 1/2 year old girl. She does not want anything to do with me at all because she doesn't want a "new family", which I understand and figure we can hopefully work through over time. Her parents have been divorced about 12 years so it has been a while and she's used to the divorce, just not me. But she has a very weird request of my new husband (her dad). I can understand she wants time alone with him like they used to do - go for starbucks, dinner, lunch, things like that. But she is not asking for that. She keeps asking him to take her to the drive-in alone. She doesn't want to do the things they used to do - just go to the drive-in after dark alone together. It is making my husband uneasy as it is me. It just seems a little weird. Does anyone have any thoughts or insight?


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[deleted account]

It doesn't seem odd to me either. It is actually a perfect place for a father / teen night.

They are alone in the car, so she can talk to him about deeper issues without the fear of being overheard or making a scene if the conversation takes a turn for the emotional.

There is no pressure to keep the conversation going. At dinner, coffee, etc. there is pressure to talk the whole time or you end up with awkward silences. At a drive in, she has the choice in whether to talk, or quietly enjoy the movie. This is also great if she feels like she needs to tell him something difficult but needs some time to build up her courage. She's 16, she's going to start having conversations with her dad that are both hard for her to bring up, and hard for him to hear. This is a great spot where she feels comfortable and can approach these subjects. If he keeps pushing her to meet in more public places, she may shy away from talking to him about these difficult things.

I think it is good that she wants to spend time with him other than the token coffee and lunch dates.

Amy - posted on 06/07/2013




What's weird about wanting to go to the drive-in?? How is it any different then going to the movies? Well I see one difference, she doesn't have to worry about her friends seeing her at the drive in with her dad because its dark and she'll be in the car.....

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