Stressed out

Lydia - posted on 07/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have two older daughters one is 20 the other 19. They both are at home. I help them pay car insurance college phone bills I don't charge rent. I am disabled so my oldest helps drive when my husband is working. I work full time. My oldest has a boyfriend that seems very nice but she comes back from seeing him and seems annoyed with us. Her sister and her gets into horrible arguments calling each other the worse names. It's gotten so bad the last fight they had I had a seizure and my son broke them up. My youngest daughter always tells me I'm wrong and I don't give her any respect and says we have been fighting for 7 yrs but she can't tell me what it was about and I can't remember any kind of argument. I love them so much and it hurts to see them so angry all the time. I swear all I have to do is say hi and the fight is on and they can't even be in the same room without fighting. I'm so confused and hurt. Stressed out mom


Ev - posted on 07/14/2013




My own sister and I used to argue and fight when we were younger. Even as young adults we had our moments and our parents told us if we could not quit we had to leave until we got along better. That woke us both up. Now we get along better than we did as kids. We were never really close but if someone was bothering the other, we defended each other. Now we go out from time to time for a soda or to eat, hang out, whatever, and have a good visit.

I think now its time to cut the apron strings with both daughters. Maybe it is time they moved out into their own places or in with room mates and not each other. You need to do as my parents did and tell them that they have to stop fighting and when they can act better they can come back for visits. Also they are old enough to hold jobs and pay for their own way in life. As for your son, I am glad to hear he stayed neutral in this mess that is going on. Is he able to drive? IF so, let him help you get around by car. Let your daughters fend for themselves a bit. Once they can calm down lay down some ground rules how they need to act in your home such as nice words, be civil to each other, and if they both feel like they can't do this they need to leave. You might have them come over on separate days too and this might avoid the fighting. Also get into family counseling about this. All in all, mom, its your sanity as well as that of husband and son.

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