sudden loss of my 34 yr old son

Johnette - posted on 04/15/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




My sweet son died within 24 hrs of showing symptoms of a fever that went down when treated with Tylenol, I ask for autopsy, just didn't believe he had a heart attack like the attending Dr said. Autopsy finding said he died from respiratory failure caused by pneumonia. I can't get past it. He passed May 2013 seems like yesterday morning he was gasping for air and stopped breathing I gave cpr but really didn't know if I was doing it right. He never started breathing again. I blame myself, I didn't know he was sick, I'm his mamma I should have seen something. I love him so deeply, he was kind, good,and beautiful inside and out. Why, why him? I miss everything about him, especially how he always showed me how he loved me. I need him, and the happy future he was supposed to have and the grandchildren I will never have, I grieve for loss of him and all these plans he had. For all that will never be. My beautiful son, how I love you. I know he is in heaven because he was faithful and Lord willing I will join him there when my time comes. The wound stays so fresh it doesn't heal.


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Jodi - posted on 04/15/2016




It's not your fault. As mothers, we do our best and can't always know the answers. Just this week my own adult son was sick, complaining of a slightly sore throat. I really thought nothing of it and suggested to him some panadol, lots of fluids and rest. Next thing I know I get a call from his girlfriend saying he was in hospital on steroids because his glands had swollen so much it had obstructed his breathing - shortly afterwards diagnosed with glandular fever and secondary tonsilitis. Who knew? I felt guilty about that too, but had to tell myself that I wasn't to know and these were mild symptoms we have treated with these same remedies for years. I know my situation is different, in that my son is now recovering, but I just wanted to say that it is in our nature to feel guilty because we feel we should be able to protect and care for our children, but sometimes, that just isn't possible. That doesn't make it our fault.

I am so sorry for your loss. But don't live with the guilt. Instead, try to focus on the positive memories you have of the wonderful human being he was in life. Maybe find a charity you can work with to help you with healing - would a charity focused on emergency first aid awareness, or one helping sick children? Or families of sick children? Some focus to give positives to others.....

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