Talking about death of an infant with a 5 year old

Freda - posted on 11/17/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )




My brother and his wife gave birth to a 1 lb. 6 oz. micropreemie last week. He is doing remarkably well for his gestational age but the reality that chances at surviving such an early birth are frightening. We are all trying to rally around them and support them-he is in a hospital at least 1.5 hours away from all extended family--they are only 45 min. away from the NICU. He is a little fighter. We have shared photos of him with our daughters (one is 5 and one is 2). The 5 year old has always been very curious/anxious about death from a very young age (two years old). We have talked about death with her (animals, older people) but she realized that her little cousin is so young he may not survive. She wanted to know why kids couldn't visit the NICU and I explained how dangerous infections were to babies that little. One question led to another and I admitted that some babies this young don't live long. Part of me feels horrible like I've traumatized her--she kept saying tonight how sad it makes her and how she can't stop thinking about it. We've talked about it but I fear she is going to perserverate on these negative thoughts for a long time now. Advice? Part of me regrets my bluntness but I also don't want her caught unprepared if the unthinkable happens.

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