Katelyn - posted on 06/17/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




My 21 month old son is starting to have tantrums, some lasting a half hour or a little longer. I don't know how to deal with these. I feel like I have tried everything. Not only that but he is starting to get into a rebel stage, not listening to anything I say or his father. We tell him NO firmly and try time-outs but they don't seem to work. We have tried spankings, removing from the situation, time-outs and nothing seems to work. I am worried it will get out of hand and he will become the child no one wants to be around. I am stressed about this and really want to know how other mom's are handling this. He is hitting, biting, pinching, you name it he does it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you in advance :)


Tamara - posted on 06/18/2011




I agree ignoring them is the best way to handle it, if you are out in public take him to the car and let him have it. Feeding in to the tantrum makes it worse for both of you.

Something else to keep in mind is he can feel what your feeling so the more stressed/upset you get over it the more he will.

Katherine - posted on 06/18/2011




Well firstly your son is only 21mo. When he has tantrums IGNORE them. The more attention you give to them, the more he will do them.
Spanking is NOT the answer. As far as the hitting, pinching and biting, he is frustrated. You need to get him to use his words. Right now you have a very stressed out child and very stressed out parents.

If you ignore the behavior I guarantee he will be shocked and stop.
My daughter who is now 5 used to do that and I would leave the room. SHe would actually follow me to the next room and resume her tantrum. I ignored it and she just gave up. When she calmed down I just gave her hugs.


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Lady Heather - posted on 06/18/2011




I don't think punishing a toddler for their lack of understanding in how the world works is ever going to accomplish much. It just makes them freak out even more. My general rules for tantrums: if we are in public I try to remove her from public eye/ear for their benefit, let her do her thing, when she's settled explain why we had to do the thing she didn't want to do. At home it's similar but I might move her to a safe place if she's flailing about on the couch or something. Ha. But generally she just lets loose and when she's calm, we have a chat.

I think the things to keep in mind are a) nearly every single toddler does it so you aren't the only one with this problem and b) he isn't doing it to be a jerk. He just doesn't get why he can 't have what he wants and do what he wants all the time. His brain is still working all this stuff out.

My kid is always pissed when we leave places. Hungry or no, tired or no. It makes no difference. So we always have the "I know you really like the park. It's lots of fun, right? But the cool thing is that we can always come back another time. Yay! Do you want to go have some lunch now?" Every couple of days. Ha. I've noticed her tantrums are at least way shorter than they used to be.

KAZ - posted on 06/18/2011




Nany. Yeah I use those methods as well and they do indeed help the situation as well

Nancy - posted on 06/18/2011




Tantrums are totally normal and every mom has to deal with them. I direct my daughter (2.5) to her room, give her her dolly and tell her to let me know when she's all done and walk away. She's upset and I let her know that it's okay to be upset but tantrums should be done in private. If she follows me, then I lock myself in the bathroom and let her know that I'll come out only after she's calmed down.

Something I have done in the last year that has helped has been giving her choices on more things in her world. For example, what she'd like to wear, have as a snack, which side of the car she wants to get in on but giving her only 2 choices. When kids feel empowered, they have fewer tantrums.

KAZ - posted on 06/18/2011




Funny story. I saw a lady in a shopping centre sitting next her child on the floor waiting for him to finish his tantrum. I was staring and she asked if I'd never seen a tantrum before (with my 2yr next to me). I answered that I did, but was wondering why she is still sitting there. Walk away (but look back without them noticing).
The other thing that works well. I throw a tantrum with him with his mannerism. It shocks little people

KAZ - posted on 06/18/2011




Yip that's best. Ignore them. I even do it in the shopping centre. I ignore him and start walking away, but slyly look back all the time. First one took a while for him to calm down, but after that the moment I walk away he stops. I also give hugs and kisses then. And oh yeah the people in the shop have lots to say about that. Ignore them too.

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