Teacher called my 5 yr old a CRYBABY in class.

Karen - posted on 04/10/2012 ( 287 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old son came home from school today and told me his teacher called him a "Crybaby." She called on him to read in reading group in front of the other kids and he wasn't paying attention and lost his place in the packet. He began to cry.

I sent her an email and she said, (QUOTE, CUT and PASTED),

"I didn’t call him a crybaby. He started crying because he got behind due to the fact that he wasn’t listening and doing what he was supposed to. I made the statement that we do not have crybabies in our classroom but he has never been called one. That would be very unprofessional for me to call him or any other student a name. Thanks!" (END QUOTE)

MY RESPONS=

By using the word “crybabies,” it’s too close a reference in that context. It’s clear what you meant to say, but I would strongly suggest you not use that term in school. My son understood you to call him a crybaby and other students would as well. I do not wish to argue the fine points. Thanks! (END QUOTE)



What are your feelings and how would you handle this??? I now feel she is going to target him until the end of shoool year.

BTW.....This is the SECOND time this has happened!

SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?

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287 Comments

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Colleen - posted on 04/12/2012

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I disagree Marie, you adress the dicsipline with the child first then need to bring the parent in if the child does not get it. A teacher needs to insert control and the child needs to understand they need to behave. The post cut and pasted the teachers response, I don't think she called him a cry baby. That's my opinion of reading it. And yes I'm an adult and have not called anyone an idiot or anything else, so yes calling me an idiot is being hypocritical. As you said, you as an adult set the example, so because my opi ion is different then your does not make me an idiot, it makes me someone with a different opinion of the situation then you.

Julie - posted on 04/12/2012

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i would definatley request to speak to the principle and the councler that is very wrong and she obviously knows it

[deleted account]

Take it to the Principal!!! Take the Email (BOTH of them..the 1st time it's happened and this one now), and let this principal know your concern as far as the unprofessional behavior in the classroom and also that you are concerned that this teacher will now target your son. It's clear what she meant and the other kids will know it too! It sounds to me that this teacher has a bad attitude. Maybe she's in the wrong profession, and is bitter. I don't know. Either way, it's NOT WRONG for you to want to protect your son. Go to the Principal or this teacher will continue to walk all over these kids! She needs to be told this is unacceptable!

User - posted on 04/12/2012

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Not a hypocrite Colleen, you are an adult. CHILDREN are the ones who shouln't be called names. I cried in first grade for the same reasons your daughter did and my teacher never called me any names. BOTTOM LINE, teachers should provide guidance no matter what. If the child misbehaves then address it with parent. No one but the parent to discipline.

Cody - posted on 04/12/2012

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Take it from a kid that once had a teacher call her a name, every kid in the class latched on to it and punished me with it for the next several years. Let the Principle and guidance counselor know so that it can be dealt with. I would also speak to your son about it and see how he is feeling and if the other kids are calling him that now. I would also suggest working on his listening skills and attention span ( I know at 5 it is the length of a gnat, been there done that), but practice at home so that he doesn't struggle so much in the classroom. It will help build his confidence and make him more active in the classroom setting.

Colleen - posted on 04/12/2012

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Actually Kylie, she did mention that he was misbehaving and that is why he started crying.. So the teacher said she did not call him a cry baby. So actually I'm addressing the issue as to why he was crying unlike everyone else. Look at the big issue here folks.

[deleted account]

Colleen Marie, what this teacher said is bullying, and it could encourage his peers to do the same.



If the issue was the child's behviour then the teacher should have addressed that directly.



However this post/question was not about the child's behaviour at all, and I don't see why you keep coming back to that. At no point was any one saying the child was innocent. But the way the teacher responded was disgusting. She should have more selfcontrol, even if she was frustrated by the situation.

Colleen - posted on 04/12/2012

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Maria, not an idiot just state facts, could you refrain from name calling since this post is about it and you seem to have issues with it. Hypocrit. Let me put it this way, since some seem to not understand my point. When my daughter started K, she cried every day throughout the day, she missed me. We talked about it and eventually she was fine. IF the teacher had called her a crybaby or any of the other kids who were having issues adjusting, I would have issues. Now, if she was crying because she was talking or goofing off when she was suppose to be paying attention and this was happening often, we would be discussing her discipline problem. This teacher is not a bully, so stop calling her one, you people are bullies. You have no idea how she runs a class and call her a bully after hearing what this mom said about incidents concerning her child's issue with misbehaving. I may be harsh, but I will not raise a disrepectful child and it starts at a very young age. My mother in law taught for 25 years, she always said that in the first month of school she knew the kids who would have issues. They had been formed by age 5 or 6. It is so important parents do their jobs and be parents, not be your kids friends. I have 4 siblings, when we fought as kids my parents always said, solve your issues between your selves, learn how to deal with the bad! What happen to making your kids have consequences? I missed birthday parties and play dates of I talked back. Today you want to hug it out with your kid or IGNORE it and just hope it goes away. It won't and if your kids is able to manipulate you at 5, you better watch out. By the way, how did this mom adress his MIS behaving?

Sarah - posted on 04/12/2012

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I don't know what it's like where you live but where I live, this is grounds to raise a huge fuss. I would demand a meeting with this teacher and the principal and I would let the principal know that you expect some disciplinary action to be taken, such as a formal warning. As for her response, what a mealy-mouthed, lame evasion of responsibility. She most certainly did call him a crybaby, if not directly then by implication. She belittled him, and that would suggest to me that she doesn't have more intelligent and more effective means of controlling her class. She certainly doesn't seem to be a good fit as a teacher of kindergarten-age kids. I would see this as a red flag. How was the rest of the year? I think it's too late to pull him out of this class but what I would do is keep a close eye on it; ask the principal if you can visit the class and observe it (you have the right to do this where I live and I did it) or see if you can request that the principal, assistant principal, parent advocate if you have one, can observe the class. That usually gives a teacher a signal that you're not willing to put up with much.

Jaclyn - posted on 04/12/2012

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First of all, shame on that teacher. How dare she treat a child with such disrespect. I would speak to the principal and bring all evidence that you tried on your own to handle the situation. Children should feel safe with their teachers not picked on.

Leonie - posted on 04/12/2012

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Hi Karen, there has been a lot of interesting comments In response to your dilemma. I have been a Special Education Teacher for a lot of years now and firstly I would stop the emails etc and ask to have a meeting with her (always have a third party maybe deputy principal ). I have an open door policy with my parents and encourage them to ask questions if they have them or come and sit in the class if they are having any concerns. I know I appreciate it if a parent approaches me (I have never had the issue that you have as that is not how I speak to my students) as face to face gets things sorted quickly rather than back and forth emails etc. Unfortunaty we come across people all the time who are in a profession that we feel they shouldn't be in such as Doctors, Policeman, TAXI DRIVERS lol and sadly some teachers as well. Going to the media? Changing schools? Homeschooling? Going to the board? I feel these are very extreme. Talk to her first face to face in a meeting. Hopefully it will have a positive outcome. You are your child's advocate, be calm but firm and clear what your concerns are. If your not happy with outcome then I would be meeting with the Principal. As a mum of two little boys I would be doing what I have suggested to you. All the best :)

Julianne - posted on 04/12/2012

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Hi Karen,

I would bring it Kindly to her attention that in what she said, it was implied that she was calling him a crybaby. If you aren't happy with the teacher's response, contact the school guidance counselor and the principal. But to me, she indirectly called him a crybaby and kids (even in KDG) aren't stupid!

Yurena - posted on 04/12/2012

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(I just checked other posts and I am surprised by the abusive posts. I am a teacher too and I wouldn't call any kids names, and I used to work at a secondary, taugh and racist one. The email, that was copied and pasted was clearly dismissive of her actions. Any decent teacher addresses disruptive behaviour by talking to the child and parents not by bullying. Crying at 5 is pretty normal, it does not deserve name calling. I would take it further.)

Tina - posted on 04/12/2012

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That's disgusting!! Report to head teacher !! Hope it doesn't affect your boys confidence :(

Yurena - posted on 04/12/2012

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Talk to the Head of the school, she did called him a 'crybaby', he shouldn't be calling him any sort of names, she was trying to humiliate him. Make a formal complain, take the email. Good luck. x

Bess - posted on 04/12/2012

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Take it to the principal ASAP this woman was wrong to use that word in the first place Especially since he WAS crying. She is cold & heartless

And I would DEFINATLY report her to the Principal

Especially if it has happened before! Do not let her

Get away with her behavior OR her condecending

Email to you!!!

Samantha - posted on 04/12/2012

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Colleen has a point, even if she has a harsh way of making it. Address your boy's behavior as well. As everyone is saying, he's FIVE. Five years old is old enough to follow pages in a book and pay attention for 5-10 minutes. At the school I worked at in Japan, all the children could follow along reading with the teacher--in their second language. If a child cried because he lost his place, the other children would probably think he's a crybaby
But still, parents need to lead by example and act like adults. The teacher shouldn't have used such a derogatory term and taught him what to do, and mom should address her son's issues with paying attention in class and trying to do what is expected of him instead of zoning out.

[deleted account]

I would talk to the principal, even if your child was misbehaving, there is NEVER an excuse to talk to or about a child that way. I AM a teacher, and I can expect that I would lose my job if I spoke to a child that way.



Also talk to your child about why he was crying. Teachers have a way of twisting the facts to suit their purpose. I have had experience with teachers telling him things totally not true about my child, then telling me "oh no, i meant the group he was with not him specifcally"



I also think you should look into another class.



Also the kid's 5, he's not going to listen sometimes, and sometimes he will be behind because of that, but it is NEVER a reason to bully anyone, let alone a child.

User - posted on 04/11/2012

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Colleen Marie you as an effen idiot! The kid is five!!! Teachers are not there to bully! I know being a teacher is not easy, my sister is one but don't take it out on the kid! If that would have happened to your daughter I'm sure you would have been all up on the school already!

Amanda - posted on 04/11/2012

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Print out the email, take it to the school administrator(s), and request your son be transferred to a different classroom. Her passive-aggressive behaviour is borderline abusive and official, administrative attention needs to be brought to bear. By using the phrase "crybabies" to the class in such an indirect manner was a passive-aggressive method of pointing her finger in a manner which "technically" wasn't finger-pointing-at-him, even though anyone with more than two neurons can see that's what she was doing. If you have documentation on the previous incident, bring that as well. Don't give her a 3rd time to strike out.

Debbie - posted on 04/11/2012

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At this moment I am training/studying to be a teachers assisstant, i am also a volunteer in a local primary school. At our school everyone is treated as an individual and equal with their own needs. we also have a learning mentor team to help as well. I do believe the teacher was out of order by saying what she did but I also believe that the parent should approach the school and seek help from fyrther up the chain as certain procedures could be in place to stop this happening. maybe the child needs some extra help or one to one time in a group reading (someone sits with him to encourage him to follow what is going on). Sorry if this is harsh but this is my personnal opinnon and not meant to attack anyone

Colleen - posted on 04/11/2012

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Yes Niki, I disagree. I see it was a 5 year old and to me sounds like a spoiled brat! Of course no one on here addresses his behavioral issues, ignore those that wil help the kid. I would not be a teacher because I would never put up with the moms and dads who fail to do their job at home and complain when I have to do theirs in the classroom.

Colleen - posted on 04/11/2012

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Well he cries because he gets in trouble for MISBEHAVING! Maybe Mommy let's him get away from it at home because she lacks the abilit to discipline him when he MIS behaves. No doing everytime he cries he gets his way. The teacher was fine, you people listen to her side and make a judgement call, figures. She even says he has done this before! Tell your kid to behave, and stop crying because you get in trouble. What terrible advice from these moms!

Debbie - posted on 04/11/2012

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This is not acceptable behaviour from the teacher, take this to the principal/head, aske for your child to be moved to a different class. If you do not get anywhere I also suggest you go to the board of govenors

Chari - posted on 04/11/2012

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I agree take to the principal have the child put into another classroom, however as I see it this could happen to another child once your son is removed. The teacher needs to be fired far as Im concerned. Very very unprofessional on her part and this may be something your son will never forget.

Niki - posted on 04/11/2012

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@Colleen Marie - I can't believe your response. You did understand that this a a 5 year old not a 15 year old! This is when they LEARN proper behavior and calling someone a crybaby is something another 5 year old may do but NOT a teacher! I'm also glad you pointed out that you are not a teacher and I am relieved by that.

Sandy - posted on 04/11/2012

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The teacher essentially implied that your child is a "crybaby". This needs to be reported as well as documented. In the mean time, have your child transferred to another class. Five year old children cry. It is very unprofessional for the teacher to even use the bullying name of "crybaby" in the classroom, especially to admonish a child for crying.

Colleen - posted on 04/11/2012

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Omg reading these responses is sickening! My God people, a different class! That kid is going to have issues from a helicopter mom! No one mentioned that this mom admites this kid cries all the time when he gets in trouble! Discipline your kid! Clearly you don't since he is disrepectful in the classroom. Jeez people, I'm shocked!

Colleen - posted on 04/11/2012

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Well, to be blunt, he needs to learn to pay attention. In my daughters class, the teacher will say that we don't cry in Kindrgarten do we, this is not preschool. If he continues to cry when he gets called out on mis behaving he will be a joke in the class and they will call him a cry baby for tears to come. With all do respect, seriously, maybe you should have tuned you child up to pay attention when in class and if you do get caught own it and don't cry about it. Teachers really have enough to deal with, nope I'm not one, and they are trying their best. If she nips his failure to behave now, maybe he won't have so many issues later. I only say that because you said this was not the first time he was scolded. You were not clear if he cries all the time or gets in trouble or just cries when he gets in trouble. He must get away with that behavior at home and crying must work for him to get out of trouble or MIS behaving.

Melanie - posted on 04/11/2012

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@Jen They actually do know how the kids feel, however, not all teachers enter the profession for the correct reason. Some choose to become teachers not because they wish to be helpful or enjoy working with children, but because they want to feel the same power that they feel that their teachers felt and others merely feel that children should be toughened up because they can't go crying to mommy all the time. I do not in any way support what the teacher did and these individuals should be removed but as a para-educator we are made well aware of how our words and actions can affect the self confidence of the children and teenagers that we work with.

Maggie - posted on 04/11/2012

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I think it was very unperfessional. I would bring it up to the principal and maybe even demand she apologize to your 5 year old. I wouldnt neccessarliy pull him out of class though. I would ask your child if he would like to change classes. He may still enjoy his class and friends. I honeslty had a strong attatchment to my class when I was in pre-k and when I found out kindergarten was going to be a whole new set of students I cried my eyes out. If he likes his class id leave him there, but if it continues and you notice it is effecting your child I would definetly move him.

Terrie - posted on 04/11/2012

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Okay Trish Sorry I was taking it a little to personally sorry about that. But we do have to help our children to some degree. My situation was a worst case senerio when a child has a hard time handling it on their on. They need to be able to come to their parents and I was always told that I needed to mind my teachers and stay out of trouble but then came this lady. I didn't know what to do and could not go to my mother. And this teacher really did not have any business in the class room.

Terrie - posted on 04/11/2012

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@ Trish; You do have a point to a degree. But when I was that young I had a teacher that really bullied all of her students. She was down right mean. She hollored, screamed, called names, she would send them to the chalk board to do work and then criticize them in front of the classroom. I was one of these kids. I had a learning disability that was going unseen. I never made good grades and this woman did not help. She would put me in front of the class doing a math problem. She would let me work the whole problem knowing I had it wrong and then taunt me about the answer as the whole class laughed on about it. One day she wrote a math problem up there and called on me first. I refused to go. She kept calling me, then got out her paddle and threatend me. Of course then I went. I started to do the math problem. She said add aloud so we can hear you. She said it in a tone like she was just totally frustrated with me. So I started adding aloud. Kids started snickering and I knew it was because I was adding wrong. I started crying. Then she layed in on me. Crybaby, can't add, dummy, how long have you been doing this? all year now? when you going to get this? Okay lets go to the hall now you are getting a paddling? I stood right there and peed my pants and I ran down to the nurses office and she came running after me. I was crying uncontrolably. She told the nurse poor kid, she didn't know what to do. She had an accident because I didn't see her raise her hand to go to the restroom. I had already told the nurse what was going on and she had forgotten to put the paddle down. My mother for reason I will not say could not be there but my Uncle bud came down to the school and that teacher was gone that day. But I had a stigma on me for the rest of my school days there. Because of that teacher I was bullied day in and day out by other kids calling me the very names she gave me. I also had a strong adverstion to math that stayed with me till college. Don't tell me that kids need to learn to handle it themselves. Adults need to be put i their place.

Rochelle - posted on 04/11/2012

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Hi Deanna Shearer I never said that. Read my post again without a chip on your shoulder.

Terrie - posted on 04/11/2012

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Yes, she did call him a crybaby. We do not have crybabies in our class is saying that he is a crybaby. She is an idiot. You need to save the e-mail, prent it and take it to the principal. All three of you need to sit down and have a long talk about what name calling actually is. The principal will also have on record the e-mail as well because they cover their butts as much as possible or they back up the student if need be. I would not take this for one secound. I know the school year is almost over so having him removed from the class is not an option, but having her reprimanded is.

Jen - posted on 04/11/2012

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that is horrible. When I was in first grade I had a teacher call me a name and it stuck with me for a long time. Teachers don't realize how their words affect a child's confidence. It's one thing to discipline for not paying attention but the word crybaby should never have been used. I think you should go to the principle. I remember being a pretty insecure child after having this teacher. It took a few yrs. for me to gain that confidence back. Good luck

Niki - posted on 04/11/2012

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We had a similar situation with my youngest's kindergarten teacher, when she made him sit in the "baby chair". As I said he is my youngest and he was often called "baby" at home, we had "sister", "brother" and "baby". I went in to meet with her and was as sweet as pie and asked to help me understand what had happened so I could explain it to my son, "because his version couldn't possibly be right since he told me you made him sit in the baby chair". Her response was "oh yes, I did because his coloring was outside of the lines"...First I was in shock but this was my opportunity to say "Oh my I couldn't imagine you calling anything a baby chair and not something like a time out." I went on not so politely explaining how she has just completely devalued his whole place in out family and she needed to rethink if she was in the right profession. After a couple of more incidents not necessarily directed at my child, I had him moved to a different teacher and by Christmas this teacher had been fired. Our children idolize their teachers and want to please them, so anything especially at such a young age that demoralizes them needs to be addressed. I think administration needs to be made aware of her conduct. Good luck.

Nicole - posted on 04/11/2012

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I had a teacher like that when I was 6. He was awful. I would have had him again the next year so my mom decided to move me to a different school, which was a huge relief to me. If there are ANY other incidents of your child feeling targeted or insulted by this teacher, I suggest you call the school and demand to meet with the teacher and the principal together. Then explain that the reason your son cries in class is because he is afraid the teacher will be cruel to him when he makes a mistake. Embarrassing him in front of the class is not going to help him focus on his schoolwork. It's going to make him hate school. Good luck! Sensitive kids need guidance and forgiveness, not more pressure!

Tracy - posted on 04/11/2012

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Well, I don't play....and my kids' school knows this well. They do NOT want me to come there and voice my disapproval...because I will.LOL These are things that should be addressed to the principal if you have tried with the teacher. Also, if you can...go sit in class on some days or volunteer in the classroom. I know I would not email anyone...face to face is so much more personal and can get things solved better.

[deleted account]

Well after I went crazy and yelled screamed and was P.O. for a bit I would take her email and yours to the school and talk to someone higher then her. Stories like this are in my top 10 reasons why we are homeschooling. No one will talk/treat your child as well as you would in a stressful situation.

Krischell - posted on 04/11/2012

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I would definitely report to the principal and demand that it is placed in her personnel file and make a request to the school board that teachers and/or any staff member be made aware of bullying on a professional level. Bullying is all around us and our children. Do u realize that there are children taking their own lives because they have been bullied? It is time for us as parents to take a stand and say bullying will not be tolerated by students or teachers.

Sonja - posted on 04/11/2012

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My 5 year old son was in a similar situation but it was a case of him coming home from school and telling me his teacher pushed him for not listening, I went to the teacher to sort it out face to face and she got very offended and denied she did it but then in front of me started pointing at my son and telling him how dissapointed she was that he would make up such rubbish! I was shocked and didn't know what to do as this was another attack on him and I was worried that he would be singled out also. I considered changing classes but instead I just went to the principal and asked him to please have a word to the teacher about my concerns......she has been nice to me and my son ever since! Not sure if she got a taste of her own medicine or not from the principal but it sure made me smile :) definately go to the principal, they are there to help, Good luck.

Cassandra - posted on 04/11/2012

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I am an early childhood special education teacher an I would insist my son be moved to another room an I would report the teacher for bullying to the school board, principle, an superintendent! Bully by students is not tolerated an it should not be tolerated by a teacher! You son is going to learn that it is okay for adults to call him names but not his peers. She can play the semantics game all she wants, she insinuated name calling! DO NOT ACCEPT THIS BEHAVIOR, she will continue to verbally abuse children if she is allowed to! Some of the Mom's in this forum are saying to toughen up but the reality is that a child of five is Not developmentally capable of understanding how to deal with emotional harassment (bullying), stand up for him an teach him what is okay an what isn't.

Trish - posted on 04/11/2012

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My advice is to "be" the mum (or mom - I'm British). People are going to say things to your children all the time that won't fit in with what you believe. If you deal with this by causing a battle, both you and your son are more likely to come out more bruised than the teacher. If it was necessary to have approached the teacher, I would have done it face to face but more importantly, sit down with your son and explain to him that this isn't normal behaviour and whatever the teacher says about him, this is who he is ... and then tell him what you see. This has worked every time with my little girl and she's now confident about who she is at 10 and it makes no difference if teachers behave unprofessionally (and they do even though it's a private school) but I won't always be around to keep protecting and fighting for her and so I cut it off from the source ... her mind!

You really have to think "future" when it comes to your children and I'm afraid that some of the suggestions here and not helping your son's future.

Melanie - posted on 04/11/2012

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I would report it to the principal. This is completely inappropriate and if the teacher will not address her unprofessional behavior then the principal needs to address it with her and the school board as well if necessary.

Tonya - posted on 04/11/2012

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this is a learning experience. and public schools are hard to deal with....I have 4 18-6, I have had many issues. Monitor very closley, BCC principle in all future corespondents. after you talk with him or her. Your child will have at LEAST one teacher that will not be his favorite. for my son it was his first grade teacher with similar issues. encourage him at home. but moving him to a different class would be very hard on HIM. These are gonna be your hardest years! but it will get better. and always fight for your son , if a teacher says something you do not agree with make it clear to her/him! Stay active in the school it is your best defense against bad teachers!

Sophia - posted on 04/11/2012

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She was definitely implying he was a crybaby without saying the phrase "You sir, are a crybaby"



Talk to the principal, show him her e-mail as she has proven what she said there.

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