Teacher called my 5 yr old a CRYBABY in class.

Karen - posted on 04/10/2012 ( 287 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old son came home from school today and told me his teacher called him a "Crybaby." She called on him to read in reading group in front of the other kids and he wasn't paying attention and lost his place in the packet. He began to cry.

I sent her an email and she said, (QUOTE, CUT and PASTED),

"I didn’t call him a crybaby. He started crying because he got behind due to the fact that he wasn’t listening and doing what he was supposed to. I made the statement that we do not have crybabies in our classroom but he has never been called one. That would be very unprofessional for me to call him or any other student a name. Thanks!" (END QUOTE)

MY RESPONS=

By using the word “crybabies,” it’s too close a reference in that context. It’s clear what you meant to say, but I would strongly suggest you not use that term in school. My son understood you to call him a crybaby and other students would as well. I do not wish to argue the fine points. Thanks! (END QUOTE)



What are your feelings and how would you handle this??? I now feel she is going to target him until the end of shoool year.

BTW.....This is the SECOND time this has happened!

SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?

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287 Comments

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Mary - posted on 04/11/2012

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I would make sure that a superior of this teacher saw the Email just so it is made aware in case there is a problem later on.
I would also explain to my child that it was not a nice word that the teacher used but that you do need to pay attention in class.

User - posted on 04/11/2012

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Insist he be transferred to another class. 5 year olds cry. Any teacher who doesn't get this shouldn't be teaching. But it's your job as a mother to give him the best opportunity to love school. Move him. Change schools if you have to. But get him out of that class!

Heather - posted on 04/11/2012

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Whether or not it continues, I'd forward her email to the principal and state that you'd like a phone call to follow up on it.

Brenda - posted on 04/11/2012

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Talk to the principal and tell her about your concerns. Then she can get with the teacher and give her other suggestions. Then she would have a conference with the teacher and you to work out the problem.

Cynthia - posted on 04/11/2012

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You handled it gracefully. I would be really upset too. I agree that you should set up a meeting with the principle or supervisor. Her job is to teach them how to treat each other and respect each other as well as prepare them academically.

User - posted on 04/11/2012

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Oh wow. That's uncalled for. I mean, I can imagine that being a teacher for young children would be stressfull and some days having a child crying would just be the icing on the cake that is your day. BUT that is the profession you choose. If you can't handle a few tears every now and then, you should have went to a higher grade. And calling a child a crybaby (no matter what context it was in) is promoting a form of bullying, in my eyes. The other kids are going to assume that if the teacher said it, it must be alright for them to say it too.

Personally, I would report the woman to the principal if this isn't the first time this has happened. That's unexceptable and I hope she isn't doing that to other children or that she continues to do it to children over the years. Kids remember stuff like. They remember the mean teachers that they didn't like. It's too bad that she might end up being branded as 'the mean teacher'.

Rebecca - posted on 04/11/2012

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I WOULD HAVE BEEN UPSET BY THIS TEACHER AND PROBABLY WOULD HAVE SAID MORE!!!!!! Go Mom don't put up with this crap!! He's your baby and he deserves better than this!!

Faith - posted on 04/11/2012

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Children at that age are sensitive and need to be built up, not torn down. I would take a copy of her e-mail into the principal and ask that your child be moved. With an attitude like hers, you're probably right about her picking on him in the future.

Heather - posted on 04/11/2012

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Definately go to the principal. Maybe she has done this to other children and it needs to be on her record. That was totally unprofessional and when I was done with her I would be calling her a crybaby. She needs to learn how to deal with children if she is going to teach!

Cassondra - posted on 04/11/2012

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Totally agree with everyone else! Go to principal and take copies of the emails with you.

User - posted on 04/11/2012

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In my experience teachers do not like to be confronted or questioned about their methods, and always seem to make out that we parents over-react when something challenges our children. However a five year old expressing distress and feeling humiliation is not something to be taken lightly. What you teach a child is going to stay with him for life. Next step go to the head teacher and complain. If that does not get you anywhere take the child out of school and find a new school if possible. That is not too dramatic is it? As a parent you know your child better than anyone else and your relationship with him is so much more important that he knows you are on his side.

Michele - posted on 04/11/2012

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if it's the 2nd time this has happened i would go to the principal and if i wasnt satisfied or the situation continued i'd go straight to the superintendant of the school.

Kim - posted on 04/11/2012

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yes, you did the right thing and I would be furious, especially with her response. I would set up a face to face meeting with her, the Principal AND the Superintendent (that way they can't tap dance around the issue). I have a 4th grader, and trust me, have been down this road many, many times. The Principal will stand up for that Teacher. My Son's BIG embarrassment happened in 2nd grade and caused him to have anxiety about teachers now, NIP This now, because you are right...she WILL target him now and his 1st grade teacher (assumming he is in Kind.) will know all about it too. Good Luck!

Christina - posted on 04/11/2012

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Being a teacher must be a very tough job. She made a mistake! You should highlight it and move on. Let's not blow this out of proportion! He was being a pain in the ass and she was inappropriate but people are way over sensitive these days. Do you have other concerns about her? Or was it just a poor choice of words on one occasion? Everyone has an off day even the circle of perfect moms.

Crystal - posted on 04/11/2012

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Can u change teachers? I'd also go to the principal personally with her ema...

Heather - posted on 04/11/2012

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Seriously by using those words are his classmates going to think its okay to call him names as well??? Is she scaring the kids into thinking they can't have feelings of discouragement? I am appalled at her lacking response. She shows no emotion and is completely uncaring. She took on a very defensive attitude. She shouldn't be teaching early education if she has no patience or compassion. I suggest reporting her. Bring your evidence to the principal and if you have to go higher then take it to a board meeting and get this bully exposed.

Devon - posted on 04/10/2012

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What an unfortunate situation. Having just got back from working in an International school I am going to guess that the teacher responsible has already discussed this issue with the other reception teachers, the department coordinator (if there is one) and possibly the principle before sending that email. If your concerned for your child's well being and confidence the best bet would be to speak to the principle and discuss changing your child's class, although this could do more harm then good if your child has already made strong friendships in his current class? I understand how infuriated you are as I would be if it was my son, maybe a teacher/parent/principle conference would be a good idea to solve the issue, if you choose to leave your child in the class room I'm certain the teacher will not pick on them, teachers are professionals and they want the best for the children just as much as we do.

Danielle - posted on 04/10/2012

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Oh no. I would of been all over that and up at the school. Principal would of been involved and if that did t make me happy I would of had the super intendant involved. We don't play games when it comes to our children. But I can guarantee you my voice would of been heard and she would be apologizing and explaining to your son why she said what she said. This momma does not play games that way. Good luck with everything!

Keesha - posted on 04/10/2012

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i may get jumped on about this but sum of you all are taking this out of proportion in my eyes its not that serious. i mean try being with a whole bunch of 5 year olds all day and tryin to keep things in control. now i'm not against letting the teacher know you are a concern parent but as far as reporting and all that when you said how you felt about the comment all that is not necessary thats when your child will be singled out and moving a kid to another class maybe worse in another class you never know how that teacher is, now if your son complain again about something else than take more action but sometimes we jump to quick i'm just sayin from my own experience and yes i do have kids 18, 12 and 9

Susan - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would have reported her to the head teacher straight away. Name calling is bullying and we don't tollerate it! All five year olds cry, we all cry.

Angela - posted on 04/10/2012

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ask school principal for an interview, I am sure it would be against school policy to use those words in class at all. He is 5 years old, it is a teachers job to keep the children interested and engaged, and sure maybe your son wasnt being attentive, but it is wrong for an adult to belittle a 5 year old child. Definately pick your battles and I do think this is one of them, there would be a problem maybe if your child was 15 years old, but at 5 years old it is still a mothers place to make sure he is being nurtured in all areas of his life, NOT BELITTLED.

Memory - posted on 04/10/2012

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I don't agree with her but I would look at the bigger picture. Is this something normal for him to do in class? Its close to the end of the year if it's an ongoing behavior I can see where the teacher might get frustrated. I think you will get more respect from the teacher, principal, and your sons future teachers by being understanding of frustrations a teacher faces and partnering with her to ensure your child is never the source of the frustration. With my eldest son in kindergarten I can understand the urge to rush in and solve his problem, but I feel it is better to teach him how to deal with life when it is unfair than to solve his problem. After all, as adults we know life is not always fair. Certainly a mother doesn't want her son to fall to peices every time he is embarrassed pretty soon the children will begin to call him a crybaby. Way worse. I understand my post will not be popular so please don't be rude as I am simply presenting another side.

Ashley - posted on 04/10/2012

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Contact the board of education. I would. That is uncalled for and completely unfair.

Leah - posted on 04/10/2012

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This is ridiculous. I am so sorry. The teacher is supposed to be a person who is another supporter of the child, not one who brings him/her down, even inadvertently. This teacher puts a bad name out there for all teachers. I feel for you! Your first step was to speak with the teacher, maybe your son misinterpreted what she said. You did this, and the teacher reinforced what your son was upset about, rightfully so. Your next step is to forward the conversation onto the principal. That type of behavior is unacceptable, and should not be tolerated. This can then go into the teacher's file. The teacher will probably get a slap on the wrist, but if it happens again, more severe actions should be taken. Meanwhile, demand an apology be given by the teacher not only to your son, but to the class as a whole. The class needs to see that the teacher understands what she did was disrespectful and cruel. You know the teacher would demand the same action be taken if it were a student behaving in such a fashion.



Good luck to you. All children wonder off from the learning atmosphere. Your son did not deserve that. Give him lots of hugs and kisses and reassure him that he is wonderful!

LaLasha - posted on 04/10/2012

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No you are being over sensative and need to talk to your son about being more attentive. I'm sorry he felt embarrassed and panicked hence the tears but she very clearly didn't call him a cry baby. My daughter is five and has never cried in class so maybe also teach him other ways to deal with his emotions I know he is a boy and in high emotion situation they have a harder time of dealing with their emotions but practice makes perfect and starting early will go along way because crying will turn in to hitting, screaming, other disruptive outbursts ( not a comment on you son just the general studied behaviors of boys)

Susan - posted on 04/10/2012

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Get him out of that school now. Even if u request another teacher, ..won't help as teachers talk . What crazy school had k's in reading groups with packets anyway!

Jennie-Lynn - posted on 04/10/2012

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How did this woman get a teaching job????? She puts "I didn't call him a crybaby I made the statement that we don't have crybabies in this class." That is still calling him a crybaby. Maybe u didn't striaight out say "you are a crybaby." but what she said was still refering to him as a crybaby. That is still VERY unprofessional to say it that way, especially when u r a teacher.She honeslty thinks it was more professional because of the way she worded it? And imagine how embarresing that would b for him to b called that infront of his classmate. I probably wouldn't want to go back to school because I would feel so uncomfortable around my teacher. Kids first learn about trust from teachers, other than their parents. Teachers r the first ones from outside of family that kids learn to trust.

I would have handled it in a similar way only I would have made it one on one with a third party involved, being the principale or vp. I would want this matter getting addressed properly with the principale knowing so then that way its known and she gets a warning and if it happens again then she will get a suspension or even lose her teaching job at the school. I wouldn't have used e-mail cuz u can't hear tor see as if u were in front of them. U get alot more out of the tone of voice they use, their body language etc. There is alot of things u can see in a persons characteristics that u can't see over a computer, good and bad. So if u haven't gone to talk to the principale that is what I would b doing so then its in the book.

User - posted on 04/10/2012

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I'm sorry but I'm a teacher for a preschool and that's unacceptable...

Your child is right to say he was called a crybaby because she did call him that!

First we would never call anyone anything... We never make references like those and

It would have been simpler to say " there is no need to cry I'll wait with you for your turn or something like that..." :) good luck!

Debbie - posted on 04/10/2012

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If it occures again go to principle. Keep all communications you have with her ( hers and copies of yours). You are his line of defense and stand your ground. GOOD JOB.

Jennifer - posted on 04/10/2012

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To be honest your son was a cry baby. If he paid attention and took his lumps f bot doing thw work then he wouldnt have gotten anymore trouble.

Desiree - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would file a formal complaint AND have him removed from that classroom. Even if she gets in trouble she would most likely continue this behavior. I would also be sure that every other parent in the SCHOOL not just to those in her classroom, of the teacher's behavior and for them to be sure to report it immediately! If she does it to one student she will do it to another. She does NOT need to be teaching young children if she's going to act this way. I wouldn't wait for this to happen again because it will just taint your sons view of teachers and school... not what he needs...

Mari - posted on 04/10/2012

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A meeting would have been the first thing i would have done. Because the next thing i would have done was phone 911 and have them come down to the school make my statement that she is not only verbally abusing him and emotional distroying his confidence as a student. But she is also influencing bullying. You handled it well but this would have stopped since day one. A similar incident happen but my child was grabbed and bruised by the secondary teacher i brought it to the principal and police. If a parent gets charged for doing anything harmful it would be a child protective case. So what makes it different for teachers and school staff. If you feel like your child is threaten take action.

Megan - posted on 04/10/2012

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Sounds like that teacher needs to change professions.on one hand you don't want to start what will probably be big.But on the other hand I am sure you child isn't the first. She made feel like crap.and from the cut and past you did, she needs someone to put her in hr place! Go to the top I say.she was inappropriate with your son and strait disrespectful to you.her job is to nurture and protect and she id doing a horible job.screw her to put it bluntly! Good luck!

Karen - posted on 04/10/2012

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i agree you should go to the higher up and if that dont work go to the next untill you feel like the issue is solved,you can go right up to the mayor...or higher ,,,,,,,,but stand your ground remember without our children they have no job.......and if she does not like children find another job....

Kassandra - posted on 04/10/2012

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I have to say teachers did that to me in grade school and it seriously affected my self esteem. She put him down..a five year old. Five year olds cry and if she cant be sensitve to that then she shouldnt even be around kids!! This is NOT right and you need to go to the principle..That email she sent you was so unprofessional.. i wouldn't take a complaint like that so lightly...

User - posted on 04/10/2012

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No matter what you decide to do......Always..Always... have a third party (not a spouse) present....

a forth witness would be advisable also....learned this from personal experiences

Tiffani - posted on 04/10/2012

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Aa a kindergarten teacher, I find her very unprofessional. She might not believe that she isn't calling him names because she isn't directly doing it, but by just making the statement that crybabies aren't in their class infers that he is such.



i will say, not to decent her, but we are human and do get overwhelmed and have all said things we wish we could take back.



Sorry this happened to your son, hope the school year ends soon.

Amy - posted on 04/10/2012

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Wow, I hate saying this but this happens more often than you think. There are amazing teachers out there but there are awful teachers out there too, she sounds like she is not properly trained to handle children of a young age. I would report her to the school district, principle and make sure they take the following steps that ensure she does not single your child out and make sure that they take the proper steps to make sure she knows how to treat students with respect. If this was my child I would make it my personal mission to see that this teacher becomes a professional woman not a bully. Forward the email you have to the school and hound them to make sure they follow through. Teachers have a responsibility to their student to provide them with a safe and caring envoriment and she didn't how is that professional? She needs to look the word up and rethink her defitiion.

Ja Dana - posted on 04/10/2012

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Not only go to the principal. Go volunteer or just pop in your sons class without the teacher knowing. Do it randomly. Some teachers are just mean. If they see you appear in that class room without warning....she'll straighten up, not because he or she wants to but because you are showing concern as a parent. There should be hidden camaras in every class room so that the safety of our kids is insured. There are some mean teachers. My son's teacher is nice to my face. What baffles me is he knew so much before he started school. He was the only one that already knew how to spell and write his name in the entire class. So I don't know if they felt like he was so smart he doesn't need help or he's so smart we have to let these other kids get up to his level. SMH......I'm about to think that homeschooling is a better option for those that have time to do so

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I would request a meeting with the principal. If she doesn't see problem with the way in which she handled the situation, then speaking to her alone any further is pointless. I would demand that an apology be sent out to all of the parents apologizing for her poor choice of words and promising it would not happen again. There are much better ways she could have handled the situation. I would insist that it become a permanent part of her personnel file. If I heard about her disrespecting a child again, mine or otherwise, I would demand her dismissal. These teachers absolutely shape their attitudes towards school and learning. We do not send our children to school to be demeaned, degraded, belittled, or shamed by the person who is supposed to be setting an example of acceptable behavior to the other children. You might still want to think about asking your child's classroom be switched, but that should be a last resort. That may do more harm than good to your child's emotional state - he may mistakenly see it as a punishment.

Dawn - posted on 04/10/2012

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If this is the second time just got to the principal. It's not worth fighting with the teacher via texts/emails/phone calls/etc. Like others have said before, if the principal refuses to take action then go the next step higher and take it to the School Board. I really wish you the best of luck in this matter. I know many teachers (parents were teachers for several years,) and it really is just a big game to many of them I think. Kinda sad when we are trying to get our kids quality education, and get stuck dealing with childish and unprofessional teaching staff.



And for the sake of argument, but this is one of many reasons why I have chosen to Homeschool my children once they reach schooling age (and even in the earlier stages like Pre-K and such). SO many homeschool groups out there now that it's so close to an actual school environment, and the learning is more involved and hands-on in my opinion. I'm jealous of my friends who have been homeschooled (as I was not,) and I can certainly see a vast difference in their level or logic and intelligence on several levels compared to myself. Kinda wish I could have a do-over =p But I can't so I hope to provide that same quality education to my children...and then I don't have to worry about snotty teachers and lax school policies and poor learning environments.

User - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would address the problem to the principal but not change classrooms just yet. The teacher should be given one warning. After all, people sometimes make mistakes. It's an inexcusable mistake, but still just a mistake.

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