Teen ignoring us and no going to school.

Kathy - posted on 01/15/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




This am got ready for school but therm went back to bed would not answer questions. Stayed in bed all day . Will not talk to her dad or me. Don't know what is wrong because she will not talk.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/15/2014




Nope, sorry, if she got up, got ready and then decided not to go, there's no excuse for that. She's old enough to communicate when she has a problem that is keeping her from enjoying school.

Let her know that the behaviour will not be tolerated, that she needs to either be in school or tell you why she doesn't want to go. If she's got a reason for not wanting to go, address it and get it taken care of.

If she doesn't have a reason over and above "I just didn't feel like it", then pull privileges, and make her go to school. I don't know about you, but where I'm at, a kid can't just decide not to go to school. There are truancy consequences. A police officer WILL visit your home if your kid is not in school, and they don't think you have a good reason to not be there. At least here, that's how they handle it.

Honestly, though, if she's having a problem, she needs to address it, and hiding in her bed isn't going to help. You as her parent need to motivate her into talking and getting to the bottom of things. But I DEFINITELY would not allow the skipping to continue, unless there is a physical safety concern.

Ariana - posted on 01/15/2014




If this just happened today and she does it again tomorrow I would tell her she can stay home that day since she's obviously upset, but after that she needs to start going to school and/or speak about the issue at hand.

If this seems really out of character and seems like something stemmed from an underlying issue I would give her Thursday and Friday in peace without bothering her but over the weekend tell her she needs to speak up to you, or another adult (possibly a family member or family friend?) about whatever is bothering her.

If she refuses to speak up to anyone over the weekend make an appointment with a councellor, or her school councellor to speak with her. If she refuses to go to school on Monday tell her you're going to be attending her first period class if she doesn't get up and go. If she still refuses go do it (although a call with the principle to make sure this is okay may be necessary, but if you explain the situation they should be fine). And then tell her if she doesn't go again you're going to sit in on all her classes. I know someone who put on a embarrassing photo of his daughter oh his shirt and went to her first class and chatted with her buddies in class. She ended up going back to school to prevent farther embarrassment.

Obviously don't start with that tactic, try to give her some space and see what the issue is. But if by the weekend she still refuses to speak with either you, or another trusted adult and/or councellor you need to get her back in school. Possibly forcing her to go to school might get her to tell you what the problem is so she won't get sent back.

Another tactic would be to restrict her privilages if she refuses to go. So if she won't go to school she can't go out, or on her computer, or play any of her stuff, gets her phone taken away.

I only say these things because you don't want her thinking she can simply ignore you and no consequences will be held. Once again that's only if you've given her some proper space and told her she has until the weekend/monday to start talking or get her butt back to school. She may have a legitimate issue, but staying home not talking about it is not useful either right?

Onetraeh - posted on 01/15/2014




maybe something has happened @ school such as a bully harassed her?or issues with a boy maybe or an argument with one of her girlfriends;I wouldn't force her to go to school but maybe just give her a little time & she will open up about it :( I hope she feels better soon

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