teen just turned 17 and oh my....

Jennifer - posted on 07/02/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughter just turned 17 and out of the blue she thinks she is an adult and just does'nt even need to come home. I am beside myself and it has been 4 nights since I've seen her. I tried tough love and found her (my) car and took that away and plan on shutting off her cell phone. I am a very leniant mom that provides her with all her needs and sometimes her wants. I think I am wanting to hear that his is a stage and she will be all back to normal soon. So so so sad and so mad and confused.


Ev - posted on 07/02/2013




To a point it is a stage that they go through. But if she is staying out for four days and nights from home with no contact then there might be a bigger problem. There is also a different in giving them their needs and wants.

Needs = food, shelter, clothing, doctor visits, school stuff, getting to and from school/work.

Wants= cell phone, internet, PC, iPad or iPod, and other material things beyond needs.

Being very leniant is also a problem. If you are too lenient then you give impressions that you are okay with anything they do. If you do not set bounderies early enough and stick with them as they grow up they will run over year. Some lenience is such as letting them stay an extra hour at a friends house. Too much could be that you let them do what they want, when they want, and how they want.

I have raised one to age 21 and she never thought of running off for four days. But then it was what I taught her and the boundary that she had and she had to keep to it but she was really good at that anyhow. Also have one that is 16 and I am not yet having issues with that one and will turn 17 in about six months.

You just have to set the boundary limits and stick to them. If you do take the cell make sure she has a prepaid one without texting and other features that she can have for emergencies or to call in case she needs you to come get her if there is not a phone available. Also take away the internet, and other fun things for a while. She is still a minor and you are very much still responsible for her and her actions.

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