teenage son tells me everything!

Naomi - posted on 01/07/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 14 year old son has ADHD, ODD, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I can handle most of it, but since he was about 12, he has been telling me everything. Even if it would get him in trouble! For the most part, I appreciate his openness with me, and saying that, I have learned to react somewhat calmly when the things he tells me are stressful to me. He has been sneaking out at night ovccassionally but then calling me an hour later to tell me he snuck out...then not answer for the rest of the night. Then he started telling me about sexual things he has done with girls. He is still a virgin (because he would tell e if he wasn't!) and I have expressed to him that when he tells me every detail about every aspect of his life, it stresses me out to the point where I'm having anxiety attacks and can't concentrate. He has been in counseling focusing on boundaries, but there has been no change. I'm worried about my physical health because of all the stress i'm being put through with this. (I am a single mother with a 12 year old son as well) The more I make it apparent to him that the extent of his openness is taking a serious toll on me ( physically and mentally) the more he does it. Help??


Dove - posted on 01/07/2016




Perhaps you need to seek some counseling to help you deal w/ the stress that this is causing. Your teenage child being completely open w/ you is a GOOD thing.

I'd definitely be putting some stiff consequences in place for the behaviors (like sneaking out), but I wouldn't be telling him NOT to tell me what he's doing...


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/07/2016




1 Your kid being completely transparent is GOOD
2. Perhaps, (for example, when he's calling to tell you he snuck out) it is a plea for you to set some boundaries, have some consequences?
3. If he's being sexually active AT ALL, you need to address that, ESPECIALLY since he's 14!!!!! Telling him that it "stresses you out" is not effective parenting.

I agree with Dove on this. You may benefit from counseling to learn how to handle the full transparency and put some consequences in place for his continued behaviour. (Not the behaviour where he tells you everything...the sneaking out, sex, etc)

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2016




You'd rather not be aware of his exploits? I guess I don't need to know the details of my adult child's sex life, but my teen? I would want that info to keep flowing. I get this makes you anxious but the more you know about his behavior the better, at least IMO. I can't fathom my kids sneaking out and me not knowing or wanting to know about it. How is he able to sneak out anyway, and why is he unsupervised with girls at 14? Given with ODD and IED he potentially could make bad choices. Maybe I am missing something, but I don't think sticking your head in the sand will benefit him in the short or long term.

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