Teenagers............

Marie - posted on 07/18/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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the question i have is how do you get your teenage son to respect you and not treat you like crap all the time? It is so fustrating that I feel he just dislikes every thing about me and that he wishes I wasn't around . Like today for instance I go and pick him up from his uncle Brads' house and he is a very happy person over there but the min. he is around me his aditude changes and he is grouchy and sassy and when i confront him about it all he says to me is blah,blah, blah.......... and i do everything for him I just am getting so fustrated and hurt by it all as i don't deserve this kind of treatment from him. Can anyone give me any suggestions I need them badly!

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Cheri - posted on 07/18/2009

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Okay. We've had the same issues with our teenage daughter. When she gets super-sassy or when she treats us like crap (which seems to happen most often right after we have done something nice for her!! - like pick her up from her friend's house or whatever!!) we TOTALLY call her on it. Every time. And if she continues to push it we push back. We do NOT accept her treating us like that. When she decides to do so, and when she also decides to not respond to re-directing, she will have one of the following consequences: 1.) Her cell phone is taken up for a set period of time - 1 day for minor infractions, several days for more serious infractions. (2.) Being totally grounded for a set period of time.



There's not much we can do about teenage backtalk, because like Rebecca mentions above, the sassiness is actually directly related to mood swings. But, as much as I'm sympathetic to mood swings, I won't let my teenage child backtalk me.



Something that's really important to do with your moody teenagers is that when they are in an "up" mood, be sure to hang out with them and enjoy their company. Give your kid a quick hug and let them know you love them. Let them know you want to stay connected with them and you want to be involved in their lives. If we never counterbalance the "you must respect me" speech with an "I really love you and I'm on your side," we run the risk of alienating our teenagers.



It's hard. I know it is. We've been walking this path for several years now. Teenagers are crazy and they make us crazy.

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Tina - posted on 07/20/2009

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You said son or is it a girl? I'm a newly divorced mother who has had a stroke, a mother of a 9 yr old and a 13 year old. The 13 year old has diabetes and talks to me sometimes like i'm the dirt on his shoes, I'm also wondering about this

Gail - posted on 07/19/2009

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Please stop doing everything for him. I am a firm believer and give and take on respect also. My Youngest tries to push that line. Best answer is talk to your son with respect and demand respect back.My kids understand the first time they talk to mein a disrepectful manner they are reminded that I do not talk to them in that manner. Then if it continues I walk away and they get no communication or privelages until they talk to me proper.When communication is brooched in a respectful manner we continue. When it is disrespect I say "excuse me I believe you mistook me for someone else, Please don"t talk to me in that manner." Don't keep going on about it either. they stop listening in the first 2 min. It is wasted breath and energy. Stay calm and talk lovingly.If they get loud and rude or angry. You say, I think you need to take a moment to calm down and I will be happy to talk to you in a moment when you have.

Rebecca - posted on 07/18/2009

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im haveing the same thing with my 13 year old daughter, i just put it down to her age. mood swings, we are all going though it. but i do think u should stop doing things 4 him, ( may be i should take that advice too. but its just easyer to give in). i feel that she hates me to

Carla - posted on 07/18/2009

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Well you need to have a heart to heart talk with him, he is angry with you about something, and you need to figure it out. You need to explain to him your role as a parent and his expectations and role as a child. He has to respect you and obey that is not a choice. blah blab is disrespectful and my mom would of popped me in my mouth. Make him work for his desires and needs and don't give him things to make him happy with you, or make yourself feel better. You may want to consider counseling to help better you situation.

Please don't lose control of the child, My god sister is out of control she is 17 just had a baby in March that she was suppose to abort, moved out with her boyfriend and wants to be too grown too fast, she saw her mother and grandmother die in a car accident 4 years ago and I think she blames her dad because he was in Jail at the time and not driving the car when her mother fell asleep at the wheel driving back from Ohio. So all I am saying is get control of the situation now!

User - posted on 07/18/2009

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Try lisening to him. Have a grown up conversation. My son is 19 and he can get a bit like that and I just say you want me to do things for you then treat me with respect but respect is a two way street.You must be able to comunicate with each other.

User - posted on 07/18/2009

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Try lisening to him. Have a grown up conversation. My son is 19 and he can get a bit like that and I just say you want me to do things for you then treat me with respect but respect is a two way street.You must be able to comunicate with each other.

Christina - posted on 07/18/2009

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Stop doing things for him. If he doesn't appreciate the things you do and can't give you the respect you deserve, then let him fend for himself.

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