teenagers, how can we discipline them now?

Candida - posted on 07/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have three teens, three little ones what a handful.. Yet my three oldest are out of control, believe thier is no rules, nothing applies to them. How can I discipline them like this?


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Jodi - posted on 07/26/2013




What are their current consequences? If you are going to set rules and boundaries, you have to have very clear AND consistent consequences for breaking them.

Interestingly, I was chatting to a number of students yesterday about their rules at home (we are doing rules and laws in civics) and the consequences, and they admitted they had rules at home, but when asked what the consequences were, many of them shrugged and just said they never have any consequences when they break the rules. I thought that was very interesting. A couple of them told me that they get threatened with grounding or having their phones taken from them, etc, but it never actually happens. I'll be honest, this explained a lot to me about these particular students and their behaviour and why calling home makes no difference.

My own children have had very clear, consistent boundaries and consequences since they were young. Obviously, the boundaries change and the rules change as they get older, but the consistency remains the same. We have a 21, 16, 14 and 8 year old, all of whom are great kids and very rarely push the boundaries too far. I don't have problems with them at home, all I hear are good things from school, from friend's parents, and so on. I didn't just get lucky with good kids. I worked hard with them from a very young age to make sure I always followed through and was consistent. It pays off.

I am not sure what you mean by the word "now". Teenagers have always needed discipline without hitting them......so I hope that is not what you were referring to.

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