Terrible Three? I need advice!

Momof1 - posted on 05/21/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Okay, so my son is 3 and a half. I'd say since about February he has been acting out more and more. He goes to daycare 2 days a week (since he was a couple months under 3.) He likes it and behaves. I have only gotten 3 bad reports, although that is more then I want, about him not being nice to his friends. He is whining more, yelling more and talking back. I have always been the tougher parent. Straight to time out, taking toys, but recently my husband has been complying with what I do. I also don't want to resort to yelling all the time. I feel horrible whenever I flip out.

When I put him in time out, I sit him on his bed and have him sit there for 3 minutes. If he is yelling or whining, I wait until he has stopped crying, then I tell him what time he can get up. EX: If he asks to play games on my phone and I say no, he yells and says yes. I tell him that my answer was no and then if he doesn't listen, straight to time out. He has also started crying more when he gets scolded. Like if I say no, then I say it again, meaner, he will start crying.

He is relatively a good kid. He has manners, cleans up (although sometimes we have to tell him a bunch of times), helps when asked. He is also a good speaker. He can talk up a storm, so he does have a way to verbalize his feelings. I just don't know what else I can do to get him to behave. I'm so fed up with the whining and the yelling. He is not a spoiled child. As I said, when it comes to me, no means no and I don't change my mind. Any advice would be great. Thanks.


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Nightingale - posted on 05/21/2013




Ahh tenacious threes! I still maintain to this day that terrible twos had nothing on the tenacious threes when it came to my two children. My son was the easiest. He was worse at three than at two.. but after having my daughter.. his threes were but shallow pools compared to the deep complexity of my temperamental daughter..

Good news..even for my 1000 times worse daughter, for both kids, at the age of 4.. they were changed beings and all signs of the horrible threes and twos were GONE.

Just keep maintaining some semblance of order, keep to your rules, allow them some of their own decisions but when temper gets the best of them, make the choices for them. Treat like you have been treating them.. like they are just to young at this age to fully comprehend what it is they want or are actually doing.

At this age, they are warring with the need to be "big kids" but also wanting mommy to pay them attention and treat them like the center of the universe just like she did when they were babies. They are recognizing your drawing away and pushing them gently to do more for themselves and it scares them.. but it is necessary. Give it time. Your child will adjust.

Mardi - posted on 05/21/2013




Sounds like you've got yourself a typical 3yr old there. Somethings they remember, other things they dont, and thats ok.

I too am a ...no means no, mum. Stick with it. My kids are all but grown up now, and through their teenage years, they often relied on my 'no means no' policy to get themselves out of a few jams (they learn to rely on that no, as much as we do). I quite happily became the mean mum, my shoulders are broad, my children are now grown and we have all survived.

While you have a good boy, he will go through all the other learning phases that everyone else goes through to widen their world as they grow up. He will have moments of (is that my child) horror, and moments of total glory......as a mum, you get to enjoy that ride and all those moments. And as he comes out the other side of the good, the bad and the ugly, you will have your eyes opened more and more to the person he will become. You help mold that.

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