Things to do with 17 year old son who lives with his Dad

George - posted on 12/06/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I divorced my X 3 years ago and my son picked him to live with and doesn't come and stay with me and only see's me when it's a good time for him. I moved to another house that took me a while to get qualified for because I live on a fixed income. The house I moved into is 30 miles from my son and he doesn't seem to want a lot to do with me. I'm trying to think of different things to do with him but all it seems he wants to do with me is go out to eat or movies. "I'm the bad person because I divorced his Dad."


View replies by

Jodi - posted on 12/06/2014




He sounds like a pretty typical 17 year old boy. Eat and go to the movies. Yep. That sounds about right. Or if he has a girlfriend, hang out with her. Chances are he doesn't really have a lot to do with dad either, even though he lives there.

Why not go out to eat? At least if you are sitting waiting for a meal, you are having to have conversation. It is an opportunity for you to both connect in some way.

Michelle - posted on 12/06/2014




Divorce, no matter who "left" who, is always hard on the children. I have only boys, and my eldest one is around the same age as yours. In general, my sons don't really like to talk or share or get into that mushy stuff. However, I think it is important to have that conversation with your son right now about his feelings. Validate his feelings and let him know without getting into details that sometimes parents just don't get along (or whatever your reason), but that doesn't change the fact that you are his mom and that you love him, just as his dad is his dad and he loves him. Let him know that you won't push but if he feels like opening up and sharing his thoughts, you are there for him.

At the same time, there is nothing wrong with going out to eat and watching movies. Those are good opportunities to bring in conversation as well. Talk about the movie, and scenes that stood out. You can keep it light or use it to talk about more serious issues. He's almost an adult now. Ask him about his interests and social life. Be creative in drawing out his "talkative" side. Have you thought about counseling?

Good luck!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms