Thinking About #3?

User - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )




I have 2 beautiful boys ages 3 and 15 months. My Husband and I had always wanted a big family but turns out I'm a high risk pregnancy (3 week hospital bed rest and kids arrived at 36 weeks). I can think about a dozen really good reasons to stop but I still can't get over the feeling that my family isn't complete and I want to try one more. My OB says to go for it and we may have figured an option out that will work for finances but I still worry about rocking the boat. Do you think I'm being selfish putting my family through everything so that we can have one more? Any advice about considering #3 would be appreciated!


[deleted account]

I completely understand where you are coming from, I have two children (2 1/2 yo and 1 yo) and am itching for another but I have awful pregnancies, I am high risk too. With both of my pregnancies I suffered pre eclampsia which led to me delivering the babies via induction at 37 weeks (we were lucky to last that long both times), from 34 weeks I was hospitalised with my son (2 1/2 yo) for three weeks then with my daughter I had to go to the hospital or have home monitoring (which always led to me having to go to the hospital for further testing at least four times a week, by the end it was daily. Both times i also had spd, which was excruciating and left me unable to walk without crutches during my last pregnancy. My first delivery was great but quick only 45 mins in active labour so i knew this one would be quick but never expected how quick,I was in active labour for under 10 mins, my daughter was incredibly bruised and swollen due to this, which led to her needing treatment for jaundice. As she was born early she had breathing difficulties and needed nicu treatment.

I keep reminding myself of all of the above and how selfish it would be to put my family through it again, but it doesn't remove the desire for another child. I can't tell you what to do as karla says it should be yours and your hubby's choice not a random stranger on the internet but I think we are done having children, for us the risk and strain on my family outweighs the desire for another child.

Guadalupe - posted on 06/19/2012




I guess you need to ask yourself. Is the risk too high? What are the chances that something will go wrong ? How would your husband deal with losing you & having to take care of the boys himself? & if you are ok. You need to figure out more than AN option. Things don't always turn out the way you want them to. Especially finances.


View replies by

Dove - posted on 06/20/2012




It's entirely up to you and your husband. I have a friend who gets that extreme morning sickness thingy (forget the name at the moment). They would've loved to have more than 2, but with how difficult her pregnancies were with the frequent hospitalizations and such... they stopped at 2.

That's not to say that is what YOU should do. IMO.... your kids are still very young. Why don't you sit on this for a year or so and then reevaluate at that time? I totally understand the desire to have more kids. I am 100% done having kids and most of the time I'm 99.9% ok with that, but that 'baby longing' is still there.

Karla - posted on 06/19/2012




I totally think that's between you and your husband. You each know the risks and benefits and the amount of work a child takes. I would recommend you have a heart to heart with him about this issue.

Guadalupe - posted on 06/19/2012




Everyone makes choices. & having another baby is hers. Some people might say 1 is enough. To tell you the truth it's hard to comment about something that I didn't go through. All 3 of my kids came out fine.

Stifler's - posted on 06/19/2012




Isn't having a 3 year old and a 15 month old enough let alone being pregnant too? Especially if youre high risk?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms