This drives me crazy!!!!

Carissa - posted on 07/17/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )




I hate it when moms/grandmothers etc. pick there kid up and coddle them everytime they fall or scrape their knee or something really minor. I think there is a good time and a bad time to do this. If my son falls and I know hes not hurt I wont sit there and coddle him, but if i think it hurt him then I do. My mom takes it to the extreme and EVERYTIME Michael falls or trips u hear her go "Oh my god!!!" I cant stand that! And she thinks I'm mean for not doing it all the time....... So here is my question. Do you think what I do is bad??


[deleted account]

Everyone needs to develop self-awareness and judgement skills. What you're doing is laying the ground work (foundation) for this many decade-long process. At this age, it's about scrapes and bumps. Soon it'll be about bullies and mean teachers. Then it'll be about peer pressure and other rights of autonomy passage. Eventually it'll be about dangerous/healthy behaviors and friends. It is definitely time to start now. Help him to develop some self-regulation skills and know when he needs you, and when he can handle it on his own~

[deleted account]

Sometimes cuddleing them every time they trip or fall makes them feel worse about what happened. I only pick my son up and cuddle when he is hurt or it looked like a bad fall. Often he just laughs when he falls even if he has a bit of a scrape. You're not bad at all. You know your child and what his needs are.


View replies by

Maygan - posted on 07/17/2009




I do the same. If my daughter falls and I say get up and she can't or I can see she is bleeding I obviously go and help her, but if I got up to her everytime she fell down I would be constantly making things better for her.

On the other hand. If she falls and then comes to me for a cuddle I give her one.

Jen - posted on 07/17/2009




no its not bad!! If they are coddled every time they get hurt, you may notice some bad things start to happen. I have worked with a lot of children and see this alot.. 1. There is the child that is the "whiner". He can barely bump something and want to be held instead of brushing it off, which can get VERY over bearing! and 2. Not only have I seen minor cases but I have heard of severe cases where a child will intentionally hurt himself to be coddled. For example, bang their head on a wall or floor (or I have done a psychological study of a little girl that would scratch herself, and actually scratched out her own eye). Keep doing what your doing, in my opinion :)

Rabecca - posted on 07/17/2009




Im with you on this one, if its not bleeding or broken you dont get a bandaid and you certainly dont get to milk it. Pick yourself up, brush youself off and keep playing! Coddling is for big stuff, bike wrecks, bonking your head pretty good, ect. My Mom is a coddler too.

Samantha - posted on 07/17/2009




I don't think what you do is wrong. If you react with an "oh my god" the child cry's even harder. My daughter falls and looks at me for reaction, if I laugh she laughs If I look worried or say poor baby she will cry. I know her "fake" cry and her "real" cry so if it is a real one she does need a little cuddle.

My fiances mother babies my nephew so much so that he is now 3 1/2 and if a little toy car falls near him he cry's and runs to her for her to coddle him. He has turned into a whiny boy who cry's about EVERYTHING. I do not want my daughter to cry about everything.

Candyce - posted on 07/17/2009




Nah, every mom's different. Usually, my son won't cry anymore, but if he's hurt, I'll kiss him, if he's not, I'll tell him to "Hulk up" and walk it off (he thinks he's the Hulk). Unless he's been having a bad day, then he gets cuddles and tea.

Sarah - posted on 07/17/2009




I do not think so. I hate it too. But unless you want a whiny momma's boy I would keep up what you are doing. My sons all ran to me...and a quick check of the damage I would give them a squeeze and send them on their way. Generally I think the kids just want to make sure you still care. I babysat for one little boy and I took him to our pool at our apartment. He would not let go of the side of the pool, even though he was a better swimmer than my boys. He scraped his hand and I kid you not at 6 years old he was crying about his boo-boo like he was 2 or 3...I really was not sure what to do my boys never did that...and he refused to swim any more after that....No honey you are fine...don't let anyone tell you how to treat your kids. You are around for the big stuff...let him sweat out the little stuff. He knows you are there but needs to know he can do things for himself and not have mommy take care of are definatly doing the right thing as far as I am concerned.

Amy - posted on 07/17/2009




I do the same thing so no its not bad. But my MIL does the exact opposite of what I do and my daughter just looks at her like what are you doing I'm fine. I hate when she does that, but I hate everything she does.

Carissa - posted on 07/17/2009




The thing is he knows that I know hes not hurt and the only person he'll get a reaction out of is my mom. He only does it to her

Lisa - posted on 07/17/2009




I don't think what you do is bad. I don't want my son to whine for every little bump or whatever. If he is hurt, then I have no problem sitting with him and consoling him but if I ask if he is ok and he says he is, I leave it at that.

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2009




ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! Your right if you do that everytime then he will do it to get a reaction. My god daughternused to fall and we would take her shoulders and swing her back and forth and say shake it off shake it off it made it fun for her and forget the pain, (That she wasnt really in in the 1st place.) If you notice children look at you as soon as they fall to see if your reaction is "Oh that should have hurt," My son is only 9 weeks so I dont have to worry about it yet but my mom raised us not to coddle us when we scrapped a knee or stubbed a toe it makes a hypochondriac (Spelling) but you get the idea good luck! :)

[deleted account]

NO, it is not bad. Sometimes grandparents or family members in general tend to overdo things. You need to stand firm and make it known this is not OK. This is your child, not theirs. You have to deal with them 24/7, not them.

Good luck.

[deleted account]

if its not leaking the red stuff or hanging of then its nothing to worry or fuss over!!! unless they dont get up I dont go running!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms