time sharing with an absent dad

Susan - posted on 10/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )





My son is ten months old and his father was only around for the first couple of weeks. After that he was never around. In august I was served with papers...

I don't mind time sharing. I want him to be a part of our sons life. Granted I did not want this at first and was very mean and angry but I'm passed that now. I don't have a lawyer and I'm afraid that somehow I'll be played as an unfit mother.

We were able to come up with a schedule though- I get mon to thurs and he gets fri to sun. Sounds simple right? The only problem is that our son does not know who he is. We have spent time together and he has gotten familar with his dad but I don't think he's ready to be left alone all day with his dad.

I need help/advice in getting his dad to realize that I can't just drop him off for the weekend and expect our son to be okay with it...

Not sure if it makes sense or not..I want to raise our son together even though we are not togetherbut not sure how we are going to get there..


[deleted account]

If you can, try spending time together--all 3 of you--a few times before you drop him off on his own. Go to dinner a couple of times, maybe meet at the park for a playdate or two.

When you drop him off with his dad, let dad know that you can be there anytime if the child is unsettled, upset, or just won't stop crying. Tell him that it's nothing he is doing wrong, the child is just slow to warm up to new situations and may need a few shorter visits before staying the full 3 days.

Also, ask dad if you can meet up for an hour or so--again, dinner or park date--each day during his first few full stays. Let him know that you too are having a hard time adjusting to the time away, and this would help both of you.

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